


Better Than Me

by MedievalContessa



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, But only a little, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, PWP, Smut, So much smut, post-Infinity War AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2020-10-14 06:51:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20596538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MedievalContessa/pseuds/MedievalContessa
Summary: Feeling like he doesn't deserve the woman he loves, Bucky disappeared from her life without a trace. Or at least he tried to.___________________"He might have been free from Hydra's control, but that didn't make him any less deadly. Or erase the things he'd done. True, he'd had no control over those things; he knew that. But as he'd told Steve, he'd still done them. And that kind of blood on his hands made him unworthy of the normal kind of life he'd been pretending he could lead. A nice home. Friends. The love of a good woman. And she was so good. So perfect. So much more than a killer like himself ever deserved. So he'd run. He'd run to protect her, to keep her from being tainted by his stained soul."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is somewhat of a song fic, though I've only interspersed a few of the lyrics in the first two chapters. Based on Hinder's "Better Than Me".
> 
> I've set this in a slightly post-IW AU where instead of The Snap, Thanos is actually defeated. No reason other than I just didn't wanna mess with the fallout of the Snap and then Steve being gone, lol. I don't even go into all that, just know that this is set somewhere in 2019.

_"I told myself I won't miss you,_  
_But I remember_  
_What it feels like beside you..."_  
  
  
A month. He'd barely made it a month, criss-crossing across Europe, trading manual labor for a few nights at a time in various run-down hostels, before the distance became too much to bear. Not that he could go home. Not that he could go back to the only place he'd felt truly happy in more decades than he cared to count. But the thousands upon thousands of miles was more than his heart could handle. So he'd come back to New York and settled into a tiny single-room apartment in the Bronx that he could easily pace across in any direction with less than six long strides. Sirens ran outside his window at all hours of the day and night, and the electricity was off more often than it was on. He didn't bother with furniture, opting again for a single mattress on the floor like he had while on the run in Bucharest. It didn't matter. He didn't deserve the comforts, as far as he was concerned. He worked for cash when he could, drew from hidden accounts when he couldn't. He got by. He existed.  
  
He couldn't go home. But he could be this close. In the same city where his heart beat, in that cozy little apartment across town. His heart. His Kate. He knew she was still there. Knew that Steve kept an eye on her, made sure she didn't need anything and taking care of it if she did. Bucky was grateful for his best friend's care of Kate, because although he didn't deserve the happiness that he knew in her arms, he needed to know she was taken care of, that she was safe. God knows she wasn't safe with him.

He might have been free from Hydra's control, but that didn't make him any less deadly. Or erase the things he'd done. True, he'd had no control over those things; he knew that. But as he'd told Steve, he'd still done them. And that kind of blood on his hands made him unworthy of the normal kind of life he'd been pretending he could lead. A nice home. Friends. The love of a good woman. And she was so good. So perfect. So much more than a killer like himself ever deserved. So he'd run. He'd run to protect her, to keep her from being tainted by his stained soul.  
  
  
_"I really miss your hair in my face,_  
_And the way your innocence tastes._  
_And I think you should know this,_  
_You deserve much better than me..."_  
  
  
He thought being back in the same city would be close enough for him. And for a few months, it was. But like a moth to the flame, he couldn't stay away. He was weak, he knew, but God help him, he couldn't fight the desperate need to be as near to her as he could allow himself. He'd break down, hiding in the shadows across from her apartment at dusk, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, praying that he wouldn't. He rarely saw more than her shadow through the window, but he drank it in like a dying man in the desert. Not that he had to have eyes on her to see her; he could remember everything about her. Every single feature was burned into his brain, into his heart, into his soul. The flecks of green in her hazel eyes. The streaks of red in her brown hair that were only visible under the sun's rays. Every curve, dip, and valley of her body had been mapped by his eyes, his hands, his lips a thousand times over. My god, if he closed his eyes, he could still **taste** her. Hiding on the other side of the world, or tucked into an alleyway across from her building, it didn't matter; Bucky knew he'd never escape his Kate.  
  
Tonight he was doing the latter, taking advantage of the early autumn nightfall as he pressed himself against a brick wall, his eyes trained on the windows surrounding the balcony door of Kate's apartment unit. Suddenly the door opened and Bucky froze as she stepped onto the small terrace, her feet bare despite the cooling temperatures. She was still wearing her day clothes, and he immediately recognized the soft pink dress adorning her lush curves.  
  
  
_"If there's one memory I don't wanna lose,_  
_That time at the mall, you and me in the dressing room..."_  
  
  
***FLASHBACK***  
  
"No, you're not coming in," she insisted, her palm to his chest as she ducked behind the dressing room door, trying to close it against him.  
  
"Doll..." His lips were quirked up in an indulgent smirk, though he didn't take advantage of his strength to keep her from shutting the door.  
  
"No." She pointed towards the arm chair against the wall. "Sit," she directed. "I'll come out and show you if I like it." She toed up and placed a chaste kiss on his lips before closing the door and latching it behind her.  
  
Bucky sighed, but settled into the indicated chair without fuss. He'd rather be in with her where he'd feel less conspicuous, but at least the department store they were in wasn't teeming with patrons, and the dressing rooms they'd chosen were in a far corner, seldom used even on a busy day.  
  
A faint click sounded as Kate unlocked the door, swinging it inwards and stepping out with a little twirl. The stretch fabric dress she'd tried on hugged her trim waist before flaring into soft drapes that fell to just above her knees. Cap sleeves fluttered at her shoulders, the neckline dipping to below her clavicle; not enough décolletage showed to even be considered racy, but it was the rosy pink of the dress that caught his attention. It was a near perfect match to the color of her cheeks mid-orgasm, and Bucky had to bite back a groan at the thought.  
  
Their gazes locked across the small space and Kate could read the hunger screaming in his stormy blue eyes. As ever, it ignited a flaming response in her core, and she couldn't resist the urge to lean over him, ghosting her lips over the shell of his ear as she whispered breathily, "See something you like, James?"  
  
A low growl rumbled up from his chest as he stood suddenly, grasping her by the thighs as he lifted her against him and crossed the short distance to the open changing room door, nearly slamming it shut and throwing the bolt home.  
  
"Bucky!" she protested.  
  
He silenced her with a kiss, ravishing her lips with his and feeling her resistance cave the moment his tongue demanded entrance to her mouth. Her legs locked behind his back, her bare heels digging into the top of his ass as he grinded her core against his rapidly hardening cock. She gasped as the denim closure of his jeans pressed against her cotton-covered clit, sending a fresh wave of heat through her.  
  
"Bucky!" His name was a plea now.  
  
"Fuck, Kate, you look so damn pretty all flushed pink for me," he groaned, stringing open-mouthed kisses down her neck. "Matchin' that dress so damn perfect." He nipped at her ear, drawing the lobe between his lips. "Damnit, darlin', that's all I could think about when you walked out, how I wanted to make you turn that color just for me." His flesh hand slid along her leg, drawing the dress upwards as he went. "This is comin' home with us, but right now I want it off."  
  
She hesitated for a brief moment, debating the wisdom of fooling around in a public dressing room, before giving him a challenging grin as she swiftly pulled the garment over her head and let it fall to the floor. She draped her arms over Bucky's shoulders and gripped his t-shirt in her fists, giving it a firm tug as she helped him shrug out of it. It joined her dress a half second later.  
  
Two of Bucky's steps brought Kate's back to the wall as he pressed against her, freeing his hands to roam over her body. His right hand found her now-soaked panties, pushing them aside to dip into her folds, making her arch her back and bite down on a keening moan. "Fuck, Kate, you're already dripping," he observed, glancing down to watch his fingers glide over her, catching her sensitive clit with every stroke. "That all for me, doll?"  
  
"Ungh, fuck! You..." He pressed harder on her clit for one brief moment before resuming his stroking. "...you smug bastard, you know it is," she gasped out, clinging to his neck.  
  
"Mmmm, I love how responsive you are to me, darlin'," he crooned, sliding his thumb over her entrance and gathering her arousal before focusing completely on her clit. "Shit, Kate, you look like a goddamn dream clingin' to me while I pet this sweet pussy!"  
  
"Bucky, please!" She was rising higher, faster, all she could focus on was **NEED**.  
  
Using his metal hand to unclasp her bra and toss it aside, he bent down and sucked a pert nipple into his mouth, running it back and forth between his teeth. He felt Kate's own teeth sink into the skin of his right shoulder, trying to stifle the pleasured sounds he was ripping from her throat. He released her breast with a soft pop, worrying her other nipple between his metallic fingers. Leaning into her, he breathed into her ear, "You're gonna cum on my fingers, doll, and then I'm gonna fuck you up against this wall until you want to scream! And even then, I'm not stoppin'. Wanna feel you clench so tight around my cock, baby girl!"  
  
"Fuck! Fuck, Bucky... please... don't sto... I wanna..." Her breaths were coming out in short pants as he continued to finger her clit.  
  
"Cum for me, Kate," he commanded, his thumb stroking harder. "Give it to me, baby. Cum right now!"  
  
She opened her mouth to scream as the tidal wave washed over her body, and he sealed his lips to hers to capture the sound. The flick of his thumb slowed as he let her ride out her orgasm, stopping only when he felt her trembling halt.  
  
He pulled his hand away from her core and drew his thumb into his mouth, savoring her taste while holding her gaze. "Mmmm, so good, doll."  
  
She couldn't look away, captivated as she was by the naked desire in his lust-blown eyes. Reaching down, she tugged on his belt, releasing the clasp before tugging open the button and pulling down the zipper. "Fuck. Me," she demanded as she pushed both his jeans and underwear over his slim hips.  
  
Letting his pants pool around his ankles and grasping his aching cock in one fist, he held aside her panties and lined himself up with her entrance. In one smooth move, he was buried to the hilt in her heat, both of them letting out breathy gasps as the pleasure hit them with force. Bucky held himself still, desperately trying to gain control as he fought back the rush of the tide. When she wiggled against him, trying to get him to move, he pinned her hips to the wall with both hands. "Just... just gimme a minute," he rasped huskily.  
  
Kate giggled, threading her fingers through his long hair as she leaned forward and languidly kissed his neck. "Mmmm, I'm not worried," she purred. "I'm quite intimate with the stamina of your super soldier."  
  
Bucky half chuckled, half groaned against her shoulder. "Be that as it may, I'm still not shootin' off like a damn teenager the second I get inside you," he swore. Feeling more in control, he drew out before sliding slowly back in. He felt her sigh against his neck as he repeated the movement, and again, and again, adding strength but not speed to each thrust.  
  
"More," she pleaded breathily. "More."  
  
"Ya got all a' me, Kate," he smirked, pressing his forehead against hers. "Tell me what kinda 'more' you want?"  
  
"Harder," she demanded. "Faster!"  
  
He obeyed, lifting her by the thighs and slamming her back onto his cock, his breath hissing between his teeth as he did. "Fuck, Kate, you feel so damn good! Take me so good, sugar!"  
  
"God, Bucky, yes!" She had her fingers twined into his hair at the back of his skull, and she tugged, forcing his head backwards and exposing his neck. He had to clamp his lips shut to keep from crying out in ecstasy when she sank her teeth into the side of his throat, sucking a mark into the skin. It would fade by morning at the latest, but he relished in the temporary brand all the same. "Mmmm, look how pretty that looks," she cooed, laying a gentle kiss over the purple bruise. "All mine..."  
  
"Always. Only. Forever," he vowed, punctuating each word with a deep thrust.  
  
Kate lost the ability to form words as Bucky continued to slam into her, forcing a breathy gasp from her lips on every upthrust. Her entire body began to wind tighter as she hurled closer and closer to release.  
  
Bucky could feel her tightening around him and it was all he could do to keep a steady rhythm. "Shit, Kate, please tell me you're close!" he pleaded desperately. He felt her nod against the crook of his neck at the same time he felt his balls start to draw towards his body. Desperate for her to finish before him, he reached his left thumb between their bodies and let the smooth metal glide through her slickness and over the hard nub of her clit, rubbing in tight circles. Mere heartbeats later, he felt her walls spasm as her orgasm coursed through her body and into his. He firmly but gently tugged her hair, pulling her head back from his neck so he could watch the pleasure play over her face as he whispered soft encouragements to her. Slowing his thrusts, he managed to hold himself back long enough for her peak to ebb before he resumed his frantic pace.  
  
Her eyes fluttered open and locked with his. His gaze was wide, desperate, his lips parted as he panted, the rhythm of his hips stuttering as he chased his own release. "Let go, baby," she urged. "Cum for me. Give me everything."  
  
"Fuckfuckfuck, Kate!!!!" He felt his control snap as his own orgasm ripped through him and he emptied himself deep into her walls.


	2. Chapter 2

_"The bed I'm laying in is getting colder,_  
_Wish I never woulda said it's over._  
_And I can't pretend_  
_I won't think about you when I'm older,_  
_'Cause we never really had our closure._  
_This can't be the end..."  
_  
  
The images of the memory cleared in front of him, and Bucky touched a hand to his face, surprised to find tears there. He couldn't do this, he didn't want to stay away from her, but he had to. He wasn't good. She deserved better. But oh god, he needed her like he needed air to breathe! He glanced back up to the balcony to see her form retreating back through the door. His mind cried out her name in anguish as he slid down the rough brick behind him. He crouched there, his face buried in his hands, the silent tears steadily leaking from his eyes.  
  
  
_"I really miss your hair in my face,_  
_And the way your innocence tastes._  
_And I think you should know this,_  
_You deserve much better than me..."_  
  
  
When several moments had passed and he hadn't heard the balcony door latch closed, he chanced another glance up. Kate had returned to the railing of the terrace and was peering down into the night, her eyes searching, questioning.  
  
Oh god, he must have called her name out loud! He froze, willing her not to see him, hoping she did. He closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them again, she was gone. He choked back a sob, knowing it was better this way. The door remained closed, and he stared at it longingly, wishing things could be different. Just as he rose and began to move out of the alley, his eyes still trained upwards, he heard it, so quiet he wasn't even sure he had...  
  
"Bucky...?"  
  
His gaze snapped from the balcony, landing unerringly on the face that haunted his every moment. She stood frozen in the street, her feet still bare, her eyes radiating disbelief. He tried to say her name, but all that came out was another choked sob. He couldn't do this. Not anymore.  
  
"Bucky!" Her feet sprang into motion as she ran to him, launching herself into his arms, trusting that he would catch her. He always had.  
  
He caught her against his chest with a ragged cry of her name, burying his face into her hair, inhaling her scent deep into his starved lungs. "I'm sorry," he sobbed. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Another heaving, gasping breath. "I couldn't stay away, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here, I'm no good, but I couldn't stay away! I'm sorry!"  
  
She pulled back and clutched his face between her hands. "You stupid, stupid man!" she chided breathlessly, blinking back her own tears. "I don't want you to stay away! I never wanted you to leave in the first place! God, I was terrified until I figured out what was likely going through your head, and then I just wanted to wring your stupid neck!"  
  
"I had to leave, Kate, why can't you see that?! I'm not good for you, you deserve better!" He futilely tried to pull away from her lips peppering his face with kisses.  
  
"No, Bucky. No," she whispered gently, stilling his shaking head. "Look at me. Listen to me." Her grip was firm on either side of his face. "You. Are. **GOOD**. You are so good."  
  
"Kate, you know what I've done..."  
  
"I don't care. The fact that you feel this guilt, this shame so deeply... that alone tells me how good you are." Her watery eyes held his bloodshot, tear-stained gaze. "A lesser man wouldn't feel those things, Bucky." She swiped away the tears trickling down his stubbled cheeks. "You. Are. Good. And I will spend the rest of my days repeating that to you over and over until you believe it."  
  
Crumbling under her oath, he pulled her tightly against him, terrified if he let go that she'd disappear, that this would all be a wishful dream. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he choked, hoping she understood the new meaning behind his repeated words.  
  
She rubbed soothing circles over his back, shushing him quietly. "I forgave you months ago," she assured, wrapping her arms around his neck and lifting up, forcing him to wrap his arms around her waist to hold her against him.  
  
They stood there silently as Bucky breathed deeply, her scent and her strong heartbeat calming him in a way nothing else could. Never again was he going to give up this amazing woman in his arms. The world would have to pry her from his cold dead fingers, and even then, he was pretty sure he'd still fight for her. He still wasn't convinced he was as good as she insisted, but her unfailing belief in him was enough to make him try his damndest every single day to live up to that belief.  
  
"Take me inside," she implored softly against his ear, and really, what else could he do but comply? Swinging her sideways, he kept one arm at her back while catching her legs with the other before making his way to the building, following the familiar path up to the apartment. **Their** apartment.  
  
Depositing her to her feet just inside the door, his gaze swept the room, eyes widening slightly to see no change. Even his old leather jacket still hung over the dining room chair where he'd left it. He turned to her in awe, his mouth open and moving, but no sound coming forth.  
  
"Welcome home, James," she sighed, cupping his cheek in her palm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Way shorter chapter than the first. I wrote all this on my phone, so I had no idea what the word count was until I went to post it. I tried to combine this chapter with the next, but just couldn't find a transition that I liked as well as I liked the full chapter break. Oh well. Hope you guys are enjoying it anyway!


	3. Chapter 3

Kate led Bucky into their apartment, clutching his larger hand in her own petite palm; she refused to part from him even for a moment. She had somehow always known that he would come back to her, but as the weeks turned into months, doubts had risen. The only thing that kept her sane were the assurances from Steve that Bucky was safe, though he'd never been able to tell her where his best friend was hiding. A different burner phone every short message, letting Steve know in so many words that he was alive and getting by. Steve told her he always sent a detailed note back, assuring Bucky that she was taken care of and he was keeping her safe. That she missed him and he should come home. Kate had no idea how many of those messages had made it to Bucky before he'd undoubtedly trashed each burner phone, but she (and Steve) always hoped that a handful had and that they would convince him to stop running. Maybe they had. Or maybe it was simply as Bucky had confessed to her moments ago out in the street: he just couldn't stay away.  
  
Whatever the reason or reasons, Kate wasn't about to question his return. She had told the truth when she said she'd already forgiven him. How could she not? She knew the residual damage that Hydra's decades of control had left on Bucky's psyche. His feelings of inadequacy really weren't that surprising. If he had only talked to her about it, he might have saved them both months of separation and heartache.  
  
But he was home now. And as she guided him to the couch, gently shoving him backwards and crawling into his lap to drape herself across his thighs, Kate couldn't stop the tremble that stole through her body. Nuzzling her nose into the curve of his neck, the days-old stubble pleasantly stinging her skin, she breathed out, "I missed you, my love."  
  
Bucky wrapped his arms around her torso, trapping her arms against his chest and laying his cheek over the top of her head. "I'm so sorry, Kate." He dropped a lingering kiss to her forehead. "I'm so sorry." Another soft kiss. "I missed you more than I can put into words. I was slowly dying without you." His arms tightened around her. "Never again. I swear. Never again."  
  
Silence reigned as they breathed each other in, being soothed by one another's presence. Kate was the one who finally spoke, leaning her head back just enough to lock eyes with Bucky. "What now?" she asked in a hushed voice, cupping his cheek in her hand.  
  
Bucky turned to press a kiss into her open palm. "I'm here, if you'll have me..." he began tentatively.  
  
"Always," she vowed, the corners of her mouth lifting gently.  
  
He released a shuddering breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "God, I love you, Kate," he swore.  
  
"I love you, Bucky," she assured, sliding her fingers into the thick hair at the nape of his neck, clutching him to her.  
  
"Can we... can we go to bed?" he pleaded. "I just need to hold you, to feel you breathing beside me while I fall asleep." She smiled up at him softly in answer and he returned the expression. "I never sleep good without you, darlin'. Don't know why I ever thought I could leave you behind."  
  
Her gentle smile morphed into an amused smirk. "Thought we already established it's because you're a stupid, stupid man," she reminded playfully.  
  
His chest vibrated on a short laugh. "I suppose we did," he agreed, tucking his arms around her body as he lifted them both from the couch and began striding toward their bedroom. After going through the entry, he eased the door shut with his foot before walking over and tenderly laying her down atop the bed. As she struggled to pull back the duvet and crawl underneath it, he toed off his boots and socks and kicked them towards the footboard. He shrugged out of his black jacket and tugged off his t-shirt, leaving them abandoned on the floor at his feet. When his hands reached the clasp of his belt, he paused, gazing at Kate questioningly. "Is this okay, doll?"  
  
Even in the dim light, he caught her subtle eye roll. "As if you need to ask, James," she replied, pulling her dress over her head and reaching into the drawer of the nightstand for her sleep shirt.  
  
He grinned as he resumed undressing, remaining in his boxer briefs as he slid into bed beside her. An amused smirk crossed his face as he noticed she was slipping her bra off from beneath her over-large shirt. Well, his shirt, he observed, something tugging near his heart at the realization. "I don't hafta ask, but that's how **you're** gonna get ready for bed?" he teased, pulling her against him as soon as she dropped the undergarment over the side of the bed.  
  
"You need sleep. And I know you," she reminded. "Sleep wouldn't happen for hours if I'd stripped all the way."  
  
"Well you're not wrong," he chuckled, bringing her back flush to his chest and settling his flesh arm across her stomach before sighing into her hair. "But just this is perfect. Just holding you."  
  
"It is," she agreed, entwining her fingers with his.  
  
"I love you, Kate," he whispered.  
  
"I love you, James Buchanan Barnes. Forever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will probably end up adding to this story, but each chapter that I post will have enough closure on its own that you guys won't be left hanging if my muse abandons me! Please let me know what you think so far! This is my first Bucky fic, and I've had the idea rolling around in my head for a while. Finally listened to the inspiration song on repeat enough times that I managed to get a couple of sentences out, and the rest just flowed from there!


	4. Chapter 4

The sun was already peeking through the curtains when Bucky rolled over to find Kate's hazel gaze resting on him. He couldn't help the smile that spread across his face, nor the clenching of his heart, as she steadily regarded him. "You're real," he whispered, reaching across the short distance to brush a lock of hair away from her face. "I didn't dream you."  
  
Kate shook her head, scooting closer to him and wrapping her arm over his torso. "No, you didn't dream me," she assured. "I'm right here."  
  
Bucky felt his lips quiver as he released a shaky sigh. "Me too." He tugged her completely against his body. "I promise not to disappear again."  
  
"You wanna seal that promise with a kiss, James?" she challenged, rolling her hips against his half-hard morning erection.  
  
A groan fell from his lips as his grip on her hip tightened. "Gladly," he growled, the look in his blue eyes feral. Leaning down, he claimed her lips with his, thrusting his tongue into her mouth, giving as much as he was taking. He let his hands roam her body, slipping under her t-shirt to caress her breasts, tugging her nipples into peaks and rolling them between his thumbs and forefingers. She broke away from their kiss with a sharp gasp and he grinned smugly. "Sensitive, doll?" he drawled, nipping kisses along her jawline to her ear, tracing it with his tongue.  
  
"Ass," she accused, though her smirk took the sting from the insult. She palmed the front of his boxer briefs, his erection nearly at full mast already. When he bucked into her hand and groaned long and low, she couldn't resist throwing his words back at him. "Sensitive, James?"  
  
"God, Kate, you have no idea," he breathed, pressing desperately into her touch. She gripped him through the cotton, just tight enough to make drawing a full breath difficult. "Kate... please..."  
  
"More?" As if she didn't already know the answer.  
  
"God, pleeeeaaaaaase...!" She'd barely started touching him and he already felt himself racing towards the finish line; it had been way, **way** too long.  
  
Grinning widely, Kate pushed him onto his back before tugging his underwear down his legs, tossing them over the side of the bed once they were off. She sat back for a moment to savor the vision of masculine beauty in front of her; memory didn't do him justice. He was still all sharp lines and hard planes of heavy muscle, though perhaps a little leaner. Long, thickly muscled legs met at his perfect cock, which lay heavy against his chiseled stomach, steadily dripping precum. She let her gaze caress upwards, over his firm pecs, to his handsome bestubbled face, to lock onto his baby blues, blown black with arousal.  
  
Bucky licked his lips as she regarded him greedily. "Kate," he pleaded softly. "I wanna see you."  
  
Sitting back on her heels between his spread legs, she crossed her arms and slowly dragged her shirt up, tantalizing him as inch by inch of her creamy skin was revealed to his hungry stare. She stopped just below her breasts, giving him a challenging look. "Like this?" She couldn't keep the teasing tone from her voice.  
  
He shook his head, arousal making his own voice husky. "All of you."  
  
She paused for another moment before yanking the shirt over her head and away. Grasping her breasts in her hands, she rolled her nipples between her fingers, throwing her head back as she felt the heat rush straight to her core. A sigh escaped her lips as she continued, her thighs instinctively pressing together to gain some friction. When she glanced back down at Bucky, his hands were fisted tightly in the bed sheets, fighting the urge to take himself in hand to relieve the ache in his groin. Taking pity on him, Kate leaned over and kissed him, dueling her tongue with his before kissing along his sharp jawline, across his ear, down to his neck, and over his left shoulder, taking time to press lazy, open-mouthed kisses along the line where metal met flesh. She heard the breath rush from his lungs as she ran her tongue over the scarred skin. Once he'd overcome his aversion to her going anywhere near the scars he'd hated so much, they'd discovered that when he was already aroused, the tender flesh was actually hypersensitive to touch in the best way possible. Pressing a final kiss along the seam at the top of his shoulder, she began trailing down his body. She paused at his chest, scraping her teeth over first one nipple, then the other.  
  
"Kaaaaaaate...." he whined, his body taut with desire.  
  
"Patience, my love," she crooned, drifting soft pecks along each line of his abs. "I'm getting there."  
  
He huffed out a short breath. "If you don't get there soon, I'm gonna embarrass myself, doll."  
  
She grinned against the skin over his hip bone. "Well we can't have that, can we?" She ghosted her breath over the short hairs at his base, over his sac heavy with need, before sliding the flat of her tongue from base to tip, swallowing his length halfway as she sank back down.  
  
"Fuuuuuuuuuuck!!!" Bucky's hips lifted from the bed as Kate began a steady rhythm, stroking with her hand what she couldn't get into her mouth. "Fuck! God! Unghhhh... shit, Kate, this is seriously not gonna last very long!"  
  
She released him with an audible pop. "Then let go. We've got all day to enjoy each other." She pressed a kiss to the side of his shaft. "Over." Another kiss. "And over." Another kiss. "And over again." His cock disappeared into her warm mouth once more as she resumed her purposeful rhythm.  
  
He tried to hold out, he really did. But the months of celibacy - broken only rarely by his own hand - had taken their toll, and it was mere minutes later that he felt himself teetering on the edge. Glancing down, Bucky's eyes locked with Kate's, and when she moaned around his length, he lost it, crying out as he shattered, emptying himself into her throat. It felt like the explosion of pleasure went on and on, but she just kept milking him through it, swallowing down every drop she wrung from him as her name fell like a mantra from his lips.  
  
When his trembling finally began to slow, Kate released him, sliding up his body and nestling into the cradle of his right arm. He had his left arm flung over his face, the metal doing wonders to cool his overheated skin. His chest was heaving with the effort to draw in air, and Kate couldn't help the smug grin that came to her face, knowing she'd brought him to such a state. She pressed a firm kiss to his chest, pausing a moment before looking up at him. "You alive?"  
  
He huffed out a short laugh before pulling his arm away from his face and looking down at her. "Yes? I think you just killed me, but I've never felt more alive in my life."  
  
"You're welcome," she smirked.  
  
Flipping them over so she was pinned beneath him, both her wrists trapped in one large hand, Bucky nuzzled his nose into the crook of her neck. "Minx," he declared in a husky whisper. "Let's see how smug you are when I'm done with you." He punctuated the point by thrusting his still stiff cock against her damp panties, the movement putting momentary pressure on her clit.  
  
A breathy gasp escaped her lips, then a pouting cry when he pulled away, hovering over her with his weight balanced on his metal arm. The only place they remained connected was where her wrists were gripped in his flesh hand. "Buckyyyyyyyy...." she whined.  
  
"Patience, my love," he echoed with a smirk. "I'll get there."  
  
"I hate you." She tried glaring at him, but as needy as she was, it probably wasn't very intimidating.  
  
"No you don't." His lips brushed across her cheek before settling over her ear, where he breathed, "You want me. I can hear your heart racing, smell how wet you are for me." His tongue traced the shell of her ear. "Smells so good, sugar." A kiss fell right below her ear. "I wanna taste you, feast on you. I want you to flood my tongue with your cum, baby girl. Over. And over. And over again." He latched onto the side of her neck and sucked a mark into her skin, reclaiming her for the world to see.  
  
"Fuck, Bucky, please!" she whimpered, her core flooding with a fresh wave of arousal at his words.  
  
"Mmmm, I love it when you beg," he praised, lowering some of his weight back onto her. "Makes me so fuckin' **hard** for you!" He stressed the word by thrusting his hips against hers, proving how true his declaration was. Her whimper at the contact only amped up his need for her, but he tamped it down for the moment as he focused on riling up Kate's own need. "Gonna make you feel so good, sugar." Releasing her wrists, he began kissing his way down her body, starting at her breasts. He laved each of her taut peaks with his tongue, swirling the tips in circles, using his fingers to give attention to whichever breast wasn't in his mouth as he alternated between the two, back and forth until she was writhing beneath him. Once she was at the brink of overstimulation, he moved on, dragging one long kiss across her flat belly, nipping teasing bites over her mound, skipping completely over her core before resuming his trailing kisses down one leg, then back up the other. Reaching the apex of her thighs, he pressed a firm kiss to her cotton-covered lips, earning him a keening moan as her hips shot off the bed. He could see the damp spot her arousal had left on the fabric, smell the musky sweetness that made his mouth water as he thought of tasting her. Hooking his fingers into the waistband of her panties, he swiftly divested her of the garment, not even caring where they landed as he flung them behind him. Settling on his stomach between her thighs, he spread her wide for him, drinking in the erotic sight before him. "God, Kate, you're so fuckin' beautiful like this," he breathed in awe. "Makes me wanna take on the world just to make it a better place for you."  
  
Kate smiled down at him. "And you wonder how I know you're a good man," she mused.  
  
"Only wanna be one for you, sugar," he swore, pressing a lingering kiss to the inside of her thigh. "Everything I've ever done since you came into my life has been for you. Even the leavin'."  
  
"Which we've already established was stupid," she reminded, arching an eyebrow at him.  
  
He chuckled against her skin. "It was. I know that now." He placed a kiss on her mound, right over the V of her lips. "Let me make it up to you?"  
  
"You can try," she shrugged, feigning nonchalance. But when he dipped his tongue through her folds and latched onto her clit, all pretense slipped away. "Oh god," she groaned, threading her fingers through his hair. "Oh fuck, I've missed that filthy mouth of yours!"  
  
Bucky smirked against her skin, grunting when she tugged on his hair as he sucked firmly on her clit. Holding her hips with his left arm, he slipped the middle finger of his flesh hand into her slick passage, giving a few gentle thrusts before adding a second finger. He released her clit and looked up at her, curling his fingers against her walls as he did. "Shit, Kate, you're fucking soaked!" A third finger slid into her, her pussy stretching around the digits as he plunged into her again and again. Keeping his eyes on her, he went back to lapping at her clit, never stopping the thrusting of his fingers against her g-spot. He couldn't help the groan that rumbled up from his chest; feasting on her pussy was probably one of his favorite things ever, and after so long apart, he couldn't get enough of her.  
  
Against the pillows, Kate's head was thrashing back and forth as Bucky's talented mouth swiftly drove her towards her peak. One hand was clutching the sheets next to her, the other was still buried in her lover's chestnut locks, curling and tugging in tandem to the wonders he was working between her thighs. "Fuck, I'm right there, baby! So close!"  
  
"That's right, Kate, you're gonna cum for me." His voice was deep, raspy, and it turned her on even more. "Come on, sweetheart, let go for me."  
  
"Unghhhh... Buc... oh god... just a little..."  
  
"Scream my name, sweetheart. I wanna hear you scream my name. Tell me who makes you feel this good," he commanded, latching back onto her sensitive nub and thrusting his fingers into her with more speed.  
  
"Oh fuck, **BUCKY**!!!!" She did scream as her orgasm slammed into her, bursting like fire in her veins as it ripped through every nerve in her body. She distantly realized she was probably tugging too hard on Bucky's hair, but she couldn't make her fingers release. And anyway, he was clearly enjoying himself, grinding his hips into the mattress, only briefly slowing his sensual assault between her legs before revving back up again, groaning deeply against her as he fucked his fingers into her and circled her clit with his tongue.  
  
"Again," he demanded breathlessly, her clit still covered by his lips.  
  
As if he could command her body with mere words, Kate felt another wave roll through her body, slower this time but with no less strength. She shuddered as he slowed his ministrations but didn't stop them, just kept a lazy pace for several minutes as she floated on a wave on continuous pleasure.  
  
Lifting his lips from her, Bucky caught her gaze and held it. "One more, sweetheart," he pleaded. "Give me one more."  
  
Kate let out a long moan as his fingers curled just right against the front of her walls. "I... I can't..." she mewled, loosening her grip on his hair and pushing some away from his forehead.  
  
"Yes you can," he encouraged. "Just one more. Then I'm gonna make achingly slow love to you until you can't tell where you end and I begin. I just need you to give me one more." He licked a broad stripe over her folds once, twice, before resuming tight circles over her clit with the tip of his tongue.  
  
Despite her protests, she could feel a third orgasm creeping up on her, and she gave herself over to the sensation. One last hard suck and the perfect curl of his fingers had Kate crying out his name again as she shook with the force of the pleasure.  
  
Ever so slowly, Bucky eased off, gently sliding his fingers out of her body and releasing her clit with a final tender nip, earning him a small shudder from Kate. He licked his fingers clean, savoring the taste of her essence. He winced as he moved, the mess he'd made on the sheets clinging to him as he got up. Kate raised an eyebrow at him when she noticed and he shrugged. "I've told you before that it makes me hot to hear you scream when I've got my face buried in your pussy. Combine that with not touching you for months on end..." He let his words drift off as he went to retrieve a damp cloth from the bathroom.  
  
Kate shook her head in amusement. Despite it being a little bit funny, it was mostly just hot as fuck to know that she didn't even have to touch him to get him off, that her pleasure alone was enough to set off his own.  
  
Returning with the cloth, Bucky tenderly swiped the outside of her folds and over her thighs before cleaning up what he could of his own cum lower on the bed. Tossing the used cloth through the open bathroom door onto the tile floor, he crawled back into bed, laying on his side as he wrapped Kate in his arms. "You're amazing," he sighed, cupping her cheek in his flesh palm. "So fucking amazing, and I will never get enough of you."  
  
Her hazel eyes shining with love, Kate reached up and kissed him, slowly dragging her lips across his, teasing, tasting; relearning, rememorizing. Reclaiming. She let him deepen the kiss, drawing her tongue out and sliding it over his own, giving and taking, giving and taking. Despite three shattering orgasms, Kate still found herself drowning in his passion, and her hips moved against him of their own accord, her body seeking the fulfillment only he could give her. When he simply kept kissing her - his flesh hand at the nape of her neck and the metal holding her back away from the bed to press her against his body - Kate let out a frustrated sound.  
  
"Can I help you?" Bucky breathed against her. She could feel that insufferable smirk forming on his lips.  
  
"I need you inside me," she pleaded, still rolling her hips against him. "Now."  
  
"Mmmm, I can arrange that." He tugged her beneath him, aligning their bodies. Using his flesh hand, he swiped his cock through her folds, coating himself in her slickness, before notching at her entrance. Entwining their fingers, he paused, looking down at her with awe-struck eyes. "God, Kate, I don't know why you think I'm worthy of you," he marveled. "But I love you so damn much, doll!" Slowly, tenderly, he pushed into her, filling her, until he was buried to the hilt.  
  
Tears brimmed in Kate's eyes as she curled a hand through his thick hair. "You are everything to me, James," she vowed. "I love you."  
  
Bucky blinked back his own tears, turning to press a kiss against the inside of her arm. He was home. **SHE** was his home, here in her arms, wrapped up in the heat of her soft body. He drew back his hips, nearly retreating completely, then inching forward, giving her body time to accommodate him after so many months apart. Her small, breathy gasp as he reseated himself, only to start the process again, sent a wave of desire through his body, and he leaned into her, brushing heated kisses across her shoulder, over every little sensitive spot on her neck, along her jawline, then taking her earlobe between his teeth, nipping gently. He kept the pace of his hips slow, leisurely, letting Kate feel every drag of his cock against her walls, letting himself bask in the feeling of completeness that she gave him. They clung to each other, their foreheads pressed together and whispered endearments passing between them. Forward, retreat, forward, retreat, an unhurried give and take.  
  
When Bucky began to feel that familiar tightening at the base of his spine, he let out a groan. He knew his serum-enhanced stamina would ensure that he could keep going at least twice more before needing to take a break, but he didn't want to end the intimacy their languid speed was creating. Unfortunately, his body had its own demands.  
  
Kate could see the battle going on behind Bucky's eyes as he fought to control his rising tide. Locking her ankles around his ass, she caressed the stubble on his cheek with the palm of her hand. "It's okay," she assured. "Don't hold back, baby." She clenched her internal muscles around him and he let out a sharp gasp at the sensation. "Tell me what you need."  
  
"You. I just need you." Still he refused to speed up, trying to tamp down the inevitable.  
  
"And you have me. Now tell me what you really need."  
  
His hips stuttered once as he fought his body for control. "I... fuck... more. God, more, more, all of it."  
  
"Then take it," she offered earnestly, wrapping her arms around his neck and threading her fingers through his hair.  
  
"Fuck, Kate, need you so much!" He lost the battle as he pulled out and slammed back home, setting a quick, hard pace.  
  
"I'm yours, Bucky," she swore. "Now give me everything."  
  
"Kate..." Forward, retreat, forward, retreat; faster, harder. "I'm... fuck, Kate!"  
  
"Cum for me, Bucky," she coaxed, scraping her nails down his back and earning herself a hiss from the man above her. "Let go, baby. Give it to me."  
  
One final thrust was all it took before he threw his head back with a shout as he emptied himself into her body. "**FUCK**! Kate!!!" As his peak ebbed, he dropped his head to her shoulder. "Oh god. Shit. Goddamn, sugar, you're gonna be the death a' me."  
  
She smiled as she ran her fingers through his hair. "Do you have any idea how fucking sexy you look when you cum?" she asked. "Just drenches my pussy watching you."  
  
He released a long groan against her neck. "Gah-**DAMN**, woman! Let me recover for two seconds before ya start spoutin' sin from that perfect mouth a' yours," he pleaded playfully. "Makes me so fuckin' hot when you talk like that!"  
  
"Yeah? What're you gonna do about it, hot shot?" she teased. The feral growl that emitted from Bucky's throat only served to inflame her further. But before she could even blink, Bucky had their positions flipped and she was straddling his hips. "Well this is nice," she purred, resting her palms below his navel, her breasts pressed together and on display for him. A slow grind against him revealed to her how achingly hard he still was inside her, which honestly surprised her. "Have you flagged even a little yet, babe? Even for you, this is impressive."  
  
He made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a snort. "Sugar, I have gone months without your touch. Christ, weeks at a time without even my own," he admitted, reaching up to fill his hands with her breasts. "I've got some catchin' up to do." He tweaked both nipples with his thumbs, causing her to draw in a breath.  
  
She lifted herself away from him - "Well in that case..." - before abruptly dropping back down, his balls smacking against her ass as their hips met. "...we'd better get to work."  
  
"Fuck, doll, you can do whatever you want to me," he grinned, hands still occupied with her breasts. "But I would really, really love it if you'd ride me."  
  
Another rise and fall of her hips. "That..." A figure eight grind against him. "...can be..." A grind forward, back, and forward again. "...arranged." She settled into a steady rhythm, only rising off him halfway before sinking back down. When he released her breasts to grasp her hips, they bounced on every drop.  
  
"Fuck, Kate, you look so goddamn sexy," he praised, letting his hands roam her torso. "God, I love your tits, babe." He sat up, forcing her to change from a rise-and-fall movement to a grinding as he supported her lower back with his metal arm. His flesh hand cupped her left breast, bringing it to his lips to suckle at her pebbled nipple, alternating between laving her with the flat of his tongue and nipping her gently with his teeth.  
  
Every forward thrust pushed her clit against his pubic bone, and it wasn't long before Kate began to feel her insides tighten in anticipation. One hand was fisted in Bucky's long hair while the other clutched his shoulder for support, her nails digging into his skin. "Bucky... god, you feel so good," she moaned. "Fill me up so good, baby!"  
  
He released her breast, moving his lips to settle at the top of her jaw against her ear. "Yeah, you like how full you feel with my cock in your pussy, baby girl? Can you feel me everywhere, touching every.single.inch of your soaking wet pussy?" A low whine met his ears. "Mmm, that's my girl. Tell me who fills you up like this? Who makes you feel so good, doll?"  
  
"Bucky..." Her voice was breathy, pleading.  
  
"Only me, baby girl," he rasped, using his left hand to grasp her hip and help her grind against him. "Tell me what you want, Kate."  
  
"I want... unghhh, fuck! I want you to touch me!" she begged, struggling to keep her eyes from squeezing shut as she spiraled higher.  
  
"Where, baby? Right here?" He cupped her breast with his flesh hand again.  
  
"Lower," she breathed with tiny shakes of her head.  
  
"Here?" He ghosted his fingertips over her stomach, feeling the muscles there clench and unclench.  
  
"Lower!" she demanded.  
  
"That still seems rather vague," he teased with a smirk. "You're gonna have to use your words, doll."  
  
"Goddamnit, James, if you don't get your fucking fingers on my fucking clit right now...!" Her eyes were blazing, a mix of fury and fire, and his cock pulsed in response.  
  
"Shit, Kate, you and that filthy mouth," he groaned. "I love it when you talk dirty." He slid his hand further down her body to where they were joined, swiping over her clit with his thumb. Her head fell back between her shoulders as she cried out, her hips still bucking against his as she worked them both towards completion. "That's right, baby girl. Ride my cock," he grunted, thrusting beneath her in time with the frantic rhythm she was setting. He pressed harder on her clit, his thumb gliding smoothly over her drenched folds.  
  
"Bucky... baby, I wanna cum so bad," she pleaded, lifting her head back up.  
  
"I've got you, sugar," he assured, moving his metal hand from her hip to cup her face in his palm. "Look at me, Kate. I wanna see those pretty eyes light up when you cum."  
  
"Bucky..." She locked her gaze with his as she felt the first tremors hit. "Oh god, Bucky, yes!!! Cum with me, baby. Fill me up, **please**!"  
  
Her words made the tension coil tighter in his belly. "Shit, I'm right there!" he groaned. "Just let go. Cum for me, Kate! Squeeze my cock!" He thumbed over her clit once, twice more before he felt her explode, her walls spasming around him.  
  
"**FUCK**!!!!! Oh my god, Bucky, **YES**!!!!!" Her entire body trembled as the orgasm washed over her. She kept her eyes locked on the stormy blue of Bucky's gaze, and she saw the moment the wave of his own orgasm crested as his pupils dilated further and his eyes filled with an almost reverent awe.  
  
"Kaaaaaaaate...." Her name fell from his lips on a keening gasp as both arms wrapped around her back and he dropped his forehead to hers, capturing her lips in a soul-searing kiss. He groaned into her mouth as they both continued to ride through the pleasure engulfing their bodies, his warm, wet heat spurting deep into her walls.  
  
Even as their peaks ebbed, their lips lingered, soft pecks and drawn out kisses, tender nips and shared breaths. Kate had her hands buried in his hair, her nails dragging over his scalp in a gentle caress. Pulling from his lips and tucking her head under his chin, she let out a contented sigh. "I love you, James," she whispered.  
  
"I love you, Kate," he echoed, tracing soothing patterns over her back. "More than I ever thought possible to love someone."  
  
They held each other for several long, silent minutes before Kate quietly murmured into his skin, "If you ever leave me again, I will hunt you down and drag you back home by your fucking toenails."  
  
Bucky couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled up from his chest. "Leave it to you to break such a serious moment with sass like that."  
  
She playfully bit into his pec in retaliation. "You wouldn't have me any other way," she asserted.  
  
He hugged her tighter, kissing the top of her head. "No. No, I wouldn't," he agreed. "Now up." He lifted her from his lap, his sated cock slipping from inside her. "Time for bed again. You wore me out."  
  
She grinned as she stretched out on the bed, watching him walk across the room to retrieve a fresh wash cloth. "I thought you were a super soldier," she teased as he returned, letting him use the warm cloth to clean between her thighs.  
  
"Who you pretty much just sucked dry," he retorted, cleaning himself before tossing the cloth to join the first on the bathroom floor. He slipped back into bed, wrapping himself around her, their bodies pressed breast to chest, legs tangled together. "Sleep, my love," he directed, brushing his fingers through her hair. "Then round two."  
  
Kate smirked at him, giving his side a little pinch. "Smart ass," she accused.  
  
"You wouldn't have me any other way."  
  
"Damn straight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I had originally written a different ending with more angst, but it showed Kate as much less confident than I pictured her, so I ended up with this, which I think fits their relationship so much better. :)
> 
> I already have the idea for chapter 5 rolling around in my head, so please subscribe!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to my amazing beta chaosgroupie!! I was really struggling with revisions with this one, and she graciously agreed to read over everything for me!
> 
> While writing this, my muse song was Evanescence's "Bring Me to Life". I listened to it on repeat a LOT because it put me in the room with Kate and Bucky. If you've never heard it, or haven't in a while, give it a listen. I feel like it really describes Bucky and how he feels about the strength and life that his relationship with Kate gives him.
> 
> ***UPDATED 2-13-2020***  
Just changed a few words regarding what Bucky and Kate were wearing. I decided their first time takes place in August 2018 instead of winter 2018.

Later that day, after waking again and ordering take-out for a late lunch, Kate and Bucky sat nestled against each other on the couch, empty food containers and plastic utensils spread haphazardly on the coffee table in front of them. Kate's legs were thrown over one of Bucky's thighs, her bare feet tucked underneath the other. Bucky was absently caressing her exposed skin, every up-drag teasing the hem of his t-shirt that she wore. Since she'd confiscated the one he'd been wearing, he'd had to dig into his old dresser for a new one, along with a clean pair of boxer briefs. It was all he'd opted for, leaving his jeans abandoned on the floor by the bed where they'd landed last night.  
  
It had confused him to find the majority of his shirts missing from the drawers, but when he'd asked Kate about it, she had sheepishly opened her own dresser to reveal nearly a whole drawer full of his clothes - mostly t-shirts - in various states of disarray. "They smelled like you," she had admitted, shrugging. "It helped me sleep."  
  
His heart had done a little somersault at her confession, so he'd pulled her in for a slow, lazy kiss. Only the call of their empty stomachs had kept him from dragging her back into bed to have his way with her. Again. He'd already done that once upon reawakening late morning. And again in the shower when she'd joined him in getting clean. His lips twitched as he thought about it, drawing Kate's attention from his wandering hands on her legs.  
  
"What's that smirk for?" she questioned, twining her fingers with his metal ones.  
  
"Just remembering this morning," he replied, his grin spreading.  
  
A teasing smile graced her lips. "Which time?"  
  
"Well all of them now," he hummed, pressing a kiss to the back of the hand he held.  
  
"Insatiable man," she accused playfully.  
  
"Remind me who interrupted whose shower earlier?"  
  
"You loved it."  
  
"Every damn second," he confirmed, dropping his forehead to hers and giving her lips a brief kiss. He stayed there, closing his eyes as he breathed her in. When he finally opened them, he found her watching him. "Do you remember our first time?" he asked in a hushed whisper.  
  
"Every damn second," she grinned, releasing his hand and wrapping her arms around his waist. "Christ, I thought you were gonna split me in half!"  
  
The playful confession had him choking out a laugh. "Should that make me feel offended or complimented?"  
  
"That's a stupid question and you know it," she chided sweetly, stretching up to kiss his cheek. Her gaze softened as she peered up at him through her lashes. "My love, I will **always** remember our first time," she assured softly.  
  
  
***FLASHBACK***

***Bucky's room at the compound***

Her legs on either side of Bucky's hips, Kate sat facing him, her lips attached to the side of his neck, dragging over the skin as he moved restlessly beneath her. She could feel him tightening in his jeans and she rolled her hips against him, eliciting a deep groan from his throat. She grinned as she nipped her teeth at his pulse point, her hands reaching for the hem of his shirt.  
  
Almost immediately, his hands caught hers, halting her quest. "Kate..." he whispered hesitantly.  
  
She sat up and peered at him cautiously. "We... we don't have to..." she began, unsure of herself. "If you don't want to..." She averted her gaze, needing to look anywhere but at him as she felt embarrassment seep through her.  
  
Bucky touched two flesh fingers to her chin, gently turning her back to face him. "Hey," he said softly. "There's nothing I want more. It's just..." His eyes flickered side to side, uncertainty creeping into the sea of blue. "It's been... a while. And..." His left arm flexed nervously, the plates whirring quietly as they shifted.  
  
The sound drew her attention and she glanced down, realization dawning. Wordlessly, she took his left hand in her right, holding his gaze as she raised it to her lips, pressing a kiss to each metal finger, letting her tongue caress the tips. He huffed out a breath, mesmerized by her actions. "This..." she stated, brushing her hand over the plated vibranium. "This does not bother me in the slightest. It's a part of you."  
  
The nervousness was still evident in his set expression as he rolled the artificial shoulder. "It's just... it's not..." His jaw clenched as he struggled to find the words; his voice was nearly silent when he finally admitted, "I hate it."  
  
"Bucky..." she breathed out.  
  
"I mean, the new arm's not that bad. Shuri did a great job... There's just... not much to be done about the scars," he explained. "They're... you won't..."  
  
She slipped her hands under his shirt, caressing his skin as she drew the fabric upwards, stopping at his chest. "Why don't you let me decide for myself?" she suggested, giving him an encouraging smile.

Taking in her earnest gaze, it was still a moment before he nodded his consent, raising his arms to let Kate tug off the cotton t-shirt. Dropping it behind her, she touched her palms to the joints of both shoulders, caressing the skin tenderly. He studied her, waiting to see the repulsion in her eyes, or worse, the pity. But as she slid her hands down over his chest, his abs, then back up again, her eyes following the path, all he saw was... desire? He mentally shook his head, trying to wrap his mind around the possible reality. "Kate...?" Her name was a breathless whisper. Swallowing visibly, she returned her gaze to his apprehensive blue eyes, her breathing shallow. His sensitive hearing caught the increase of her heartbeat a scant moment before she sealed her lips to his, her tongue begging entrance to his mouth, the kiss so full of fire that he gasped into it. His arms slid beneath hers and wrapped around her back, holding her tightly to his chest. Her hips resumed grinding against him and he felt his flagging erection return with a vengeance as he writhed beneath her, trying to increase the friction. "Kate," he uttered on a ragged groan, dragging his lips down her chin, over her neck.  
  
"Yes?" she probed, making sure she was reading him right.  
  
"Yes," he confirmed, tugging at her tank top. "God yes!"

Sitting back, she swiftly threw off the fabric, letting it join his own shirt on the floor before kissing his neck, slowly working her lips down towards his left shoulder.  
  
He held his hand up, stopping her before she reached the metal seam. "Not... not yet," he pleaded, still ill at ease with that part of himself.  
  
The look of compassionate understanding in her eyes nearly brought him to his knees. "Okay," she agreed, kissing his lips, coaxing them open to slide her tongue into his mouth.  
  
He groaned into the kiss as he cupped her breasts over her bra. "I want this off." He drew away from her lips just enough to form the words on a harsh rasp.  
  
Reaching a hand behind her, she flicked open the clasp, letting him tug away the satin material. The straps slid down her arms and she flung the undergarment to the side, enjoying the look of sheer wonder on Bucky's face as he took in the sight of her naked torso. When he made no move to touch her, she teasingly challenged, "You just gonna enjoy the view all day, or are you gonna do something about it?"  
  
Growling low in his throat, he grasped both breasts in his palms, dipping his head to bring one to his mouth, suckling the tip into a hard peak. The drawn-out moan that fell from her lips spurred him on, his flesh hand working the other breast into the same state as the first, her nipple rolling between his thumb and fingers. Lifting his gaze, he groaned into her skin. "God, I could do this all day. So damn perfect, doll."  
  
"Bedroom. Now," she demanded.  
  
Not needing to be told twice, he tucked his hands underneath her ass as he stood, striding purposefully toward his bedroom. "FRIDAY, soundproof the apartment," he directed the A.I. as he entered the room and kicked the door shut. A faint chirp indicated the task done, and he tossed Kate onto the bed playfully, a feral grin splitting his face.  
  
"You seem so sure we're gonna need that," she teased, kneeling on the unmade bed.  
  
"Oh I know we will, doll," he assured cockily, bending to hastily remove his boots and socks. "I intend to have you screaming my name before the night's over."  
  
"Well in that case..." She reached for him, hooking her fingers through his belt loops and tugging him to the edge of the bed as she unclasped his belt. The button and the zipper of his jeans followed. "These. Off."  
  
Lightly gripping her wrists to keep her from shoving the pants down his legs, he commanded huskily, "You first."  
  
She grinned, undoing the button and zipper of her denim capris and sliding them off slowly, dropping onto the bed to push them past her knees, before tugging them over her already bare feet. The fabric dangled momentarily from two fingers as she rose to her knees again, before she let them fall to the floor, leaving her clad in a pair of black lace hipsters.  
  
Bucky bit down on his lower lip as he drank in the sight of her near-naked form. "Fuck, Kate," he breathed out. "So goddamn gorgeous, doll." As she went to tug off her underwear, he let out a low growl. "Leave 'em. I wanna do that."  
  
"Well then you'd better get out of those clothes and get over here," she suggested, watching in amusement as he jumped to do her bidding. The jeans went first, Bucky struggling in his haste to pull his feet free. He steadied his movements as he reached to remove his boxer briefs, tugging the elastic down slowly, pulling it away from his body as he slid the fabric down to reveal his... oh my. She nearly swallowed her tongue as he kicked the cotton away from his feet, leaving him bare in all his glory. Her tongue darted out to wet her suddenly dry lips. Oh my.  
  
Watching her blatant perusal of his body, Bucky felt his confidence surge. In all his 100 plus years, he couldn't remember a woman ever looking at him with such overt, unashamed desire. Not before his capture, and most certainly not after. Climbing onto the bed, he knelt in front of her, dipping his head to capture her lips in a needy, fiery kiss. He felt her arms drape around his neck, one hand tunneling through his long hair, her nails scraping deliciously over his scalp.  
  
Drawing away from her, he pulled her down onto the mattress with him, nudging her legs apart with his knees and slating himself between her thighs before resuming their kiss. Her back arched when he trailed his lips over her skin and nipped at her neck, her breasts pressing into his chest. Grinding his hips against hers, he could feel the damp fabric of her panties against his bare cock and he groaned into her skin. "Fuck, doll, I want you," he rasped. "So much."  
  
"Now, Bucky," she pleaded, rolling her hips. "Please!"  
  
He chuckled as he began kissing down her neck, working his way over her shoulder blades and towards her breasts. "In time, doll," he promised. "Gonna take care of you first. Wanna make you feel so good."  
  
"Oh god." Her breath hitched as he latched onto her right breast, running the peak between his teeth, his flesh hand tweaking her other nipple.  
  
Releasing her breasts, he began a trail of kisses down her body, stopping to pay attention to every spot that made her gasp as he learned what made her squirm with need. When he reached her lace hipsters, he considered just ripping them off, but decided against it for now. Another time perhaps. Sliding his fingers into the waistband, he slid the material down her legs, following the path with his lips. After removing them completely, he tossed the fabric away, hooking one of her ankles over his shoulder as he kissed up the inside of her leg, letting his teeth scrape over the skin. Stopping over her core, he inhaled deeply and nearly spilled onto the sheets. He'd always appreciated the natural musk of a woman's arousal, but with the serum amping up his senses, he found himself wanting to drown in her scent. "God, Kate, you smell so fucking good," he groaned, laying a kiss to the seam of her thigh. "Wonder if you taste just as good...?"  
  
"If you don't fucking get on with it, you're never going to find out!" she threatened, the green flecks in her eyes flashing, her insides strung taut with frustrated anticipation.  
  
"Mmmm, can't have that," he hummed, the corner of his lips twitching. Dipping his head, he gave her an experimental lick, running his tongue through her folds from her entrance all the way past her clit to the top of her labia.  
  
Her hips flew off the bed as she cried out. "Fuck!"  
  
"Such language, sugar," he teased, pressing a soft kiss over her mound.  
  
"You're gonna hear a hell of a lot worse if you don't get that fucking mouth of yours on my fucking pussy in the next five fucking seconds!" she demanded, her entire body on fire for his touch.  
  
"Shit, Kate, never knew you had such a filthy mouth," he groaned, her words arousing him as much as the sight of her laid out naked for him was. "So fucking hot, doll!" Giving in to her demands, he dove back into her, sliding his tongue past her entrance and drawing out more of her arousal before flicking over her clit, tracing random shapes with the tip of his tongue. He had to throw his left arm over her lower stomach to keep her hips from rising off the bed when he slid a finger into her passage. "Mmmm, you like that, doll?" he crooned, his breath ghosting over her core as he watched her.  
  
"Oh god, Bucky," she gasped. "More!" Another finger slipped into her, followed by a third as he slowly stretched her, beginning a gentle thrusting. "Yessssssss... god, Bucky, **just** like that!"  
  
He latched onto her clit, suckling hard as he continued fucking his fingers into her. "Taste so good, sugar," he moaned against her. "Could lick your sweet pussy for hours. So fucking good."  
  
"Christ, James, I thought you said it had been a while," she blanched, gripping a fistful of his hair. "How are you... oh god... this... right there!... good at this after... shit!... seven fucking decades?"  
  
Bucky beamed at her praise. "Some things you don't forget," he murmured against her, his mouth never leaving her clit. Curling his fingers, he hummed appreciatively when her hips lifted against his arm as he found her g-spot. "I want you to cum for me, Kate."  
  
Clearly nearing the edge, Kate's breaths were ragged, her breasts heaving with the effort to draw in air. "Just a little... oh god, Bucky, please! I'm... I'm so close."  
  
"I got you, sugar. Just let go, sweetheart," he encouraged, wrapping his lips around her clit and giving it a series of hard sucks.  
  
That was all it took for her to fall apart, the pleasure washing over her in a rush of sensations as she cried out. "Oh my **GOD**!!! Bucky!!!"  
  
He kept lapping at her clit as he worked her through her orgasm, slowing the movement of his fingers before finally drawing them out slowly and lifting his head from her core as the peak ebbed. Leisurely licking his fingers clean of her arousal, he couldn't keep the smug look from his face as he studied her laying wrecked across his bed. Her hair was tousled, her cheeks flushed the most alluring shade of pink. And still there was that desire in her eyes, the look that lit his heart on fire, the one that made him begin to wonder if maybe he had a soul after all.

He must have sat there staring for longer than he thought, because suddenly his hands were in hers as she urged him down to her, letting him nestle himself in between her spread legs. "Hey there, you," she called softly. "You're far away. Come back to me."  
  
"M'sorry," he apologized, resting some of his weight on his left elbow. "I'm here."  
  
"Penny for your thoughts?" She brushed a lock of hair behind his ear.  
  
"Just tryin'a figure out how I got this lucky," he admitted, cupping her face in his flesh hand. "Because I know I ain't ever done a damn thing to deserve you."  
  
"James." Her voice was tinged with reproach. "Stop it."  
  
"Ain't nothin' but the truth, darlin'." His hand combed through her hair, letting the silky strands slip through his fingers.  
  
"Maybe you think it is, but I know better," she asserted. "You deserve every happiness in this world after the hell you've been through. And I hope I give you some of that, because you make **me **so, so happy, Bucky."  
  
"Oh, sugar, you have no idea how much you give me," he declared, caressing her face.  
  
"How 'bout we add one more thing then?" she suggested, mischief entering her gaze as she wrapped her legs around his ass, her soaked core pressing against his straining erection. The contact earned her a hiss of "Fuck!" as his head dropped to her shoulder. "That a 'yes' then?"  
  
"Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" he affirmed, his voice muffled against her neck. Lifting his head just a fraction, he asked, "Do we need...?"  
  
She shook her head. "Pill." Her arms wrapped around his shoulders. "Wanna feel all of you, baby. Now."  
  
Reaching down, he swiped the head of his cock through her folds several times, teasing her while spreading her slickness over himself. When he was finally pressed at her entrance, he paused, gazing down into her hazel eyes. "This... this might be really fast," he warned. "Seventy years is... a long fucking time." He let out a self-deprecating laugh.  
  
"It's okay, Buck..."  
  
"No, it's not," he argued. "But just give me a couple minutes, if that, and then I can make it up to you." She raised an eyebrow at the certainty in his voice and he chuckled. "Just... just trust me on this."  
  
"I do trust you," she assured solemnly.  
  
The sincerity of her vow humbled him and he lay his forehead against hers, taking a moment to simply breathe her in. "Don't let me hur... just... just tell me if it hurts, okay?"  
  
"James, you could never..."  
  
"Just promise me. Please?" His anxious blue eyes peered down at her. "I never... I haven't... not since the serum..."  
  
Kate touched a palm to his cheek. "I trust you," she repeated on a whisper, stretching up to lay a gentle kiss on his lips.  
  
"God, I don't deserve you," he declared as slowly, so slowly, he began to push into her, never looking away, watching her eyes for any signs of discomfort, prepared to halt his advance if necessary. By the time he bottomed out, he was already so on the edge that he had to count a full sixty seconds before he felt any semblance of control. God bless the woman beneath him, she just waited patiently, so full of understanding, holding herself still while threading her fingers through his hair.  
  
Finally somewhat sure he wasn't going to embarrass himself in the first five seconds, he leaned down and kissed her, long and slow and sweet, before drawing out of her body to the tip, then easing back in. He repeated the movement as he continued the kiss, his pace agonizingly slow, wanting to be sure her body had time to adjust to his.  
  
Kate let a minute or two pass before she met his thrusts with her own, pulling him in deeper. "More," she pleaded, her fingers entwined behind his neck.  
  
"Don't wanna hurt you, doll."  
  
"I'm good. I'm so good," she promised. "Now more."  
  
When she lifted her hips again, he gave in, increasing his tempo with each forward thrust until he had a steady rhythm.  
  
"Oh, Bucky, yes," she breathed. "Oh my god, you feel amazing! I can feel you everywhere!"  
  
"Kate... sweetheart... Christ, you feel so good!" He was struggling, trying to hold out but losing the battle. "Fuck! Shit, doll, I... I can't... fuck, not yet!"  
  
"Two minutes, you said?" she queried, holding his desperate gaze. He nodded vigorously. "Then let go. Cum for me, Bucky. Fill me up. Give it to me..."  
  
Her words broke the dam and he surrendered, plunging into her twice more before he felt the orgasm rip through him. "Ohgod, Kate!!! Fuck!!! Oh shit, yes!!!" He spilled into her, a litany of cries and curses falling from his lips as the pleasure peaked and then ebbed.  
  
Kate tucked his head into the crook of her neck, caressing a hand over his hair as she murmured soothingly in his ear, letting him catch his breath as his heart rate steadied.  
  
Pressing a kiss to her throat, Bucky let out a contented sigh. "M'sorry, doll," he apologized. "Jus' gimme a minute."  
  
Still not totally convinced, but curious nonetheless, Kate let him drag his lips over her neck, across her face, to connect with her own lips for a deep, hungry kiss that stole her breath. When her hips rolled instinctively against his, she felt him stirring within her, the erection quickly reaching full strength. "How..." she found herself wondering aloud, her eyes wide. "God, James, you weren't exaggerating one bit."  
  
He laughed, the sound vibrating out of his chest and into hers. "The serum," he explained. "That 'increased stamina' side effect apparently extends into sexual stamina."  
  
"Well goddamn," she exhaled on a grin. The grin turned mischievous as she ran her hands down his back to grip his ass, pulling him into her. "In that case, you'd better get to work if you're gonna uphold your intention to make me scream your name."  
  
"Already done that once, darlin'," he reminded cheekily. "But I'd sure love to hear it again." He thrust into her once, hard, earning himself a throaty gasp. Brushing his lips against the shell of her ear, he whispered on a rough breath, "Better hold on tight, doll. Second round lasts one hell of a lot longer." Another hard thrust followed his declaration, and he held himself deep inside her.  
  
"Oh god, Bucky, pleeeeaaaase..." she begged, clutching his shoulders.  
  
He kept still, refusing to move, holding a hand to her hip when she tried to buck beneath him. "Please what, doll? Tell me what you need."  
  
"Damnit, James, stop teasing and fuck me already!" she demanded. When he gave a firm but controlled thrust, she gripped a fistful of hair at the nape of his neck and yanked his head backwards. "Don't you dare hold back on me!" His eyes flickered, his body held taut with uncertainty, and she tugged harder, the movement pleasantly stinging his scalp just this side of pain. "Hard and dirty, you hear me, Barnes?"  
  
He hesitated a moment longer before complying, slamming into her body with as much force as he dared; he'd give her what she wanted, but he also knew that she didn't totally comprehend his full strength. After several thrusts, he found a pace he could keep while being sure of not hurting her, and he gave himself over to the rhythm.  
  
"Fuck, just like that, baby!" Her hands disentangled from his hair, moving to clutch his shoulders as she met him thrust for thrust. "God, Bucky, don't stop!"  
  
"Not 'til you're screamin', sugar," he vowed, his gaze never leaving her face, taking in every minute change in her expression as he propelled them higher and higher. "Fuck, you feel like heaven, Kate! So hot and wet for me!"  
  
"Unghh... Bucky..." His name ended on a long moan as he lifted her hips with his metal arm, changing the angle enough that he was hitting her g-spot each time he drove into her body. "There! Oh my god, **right **there! Don't st... unghh... Bucky... I'm gonna... oh god, please..."  
  
"That's it, sugar, cum for me," he encouraged, nuzzling his nose into her neck. "Cum on my cock, baby girl. Wanna feel you clench around me. Right **now**!" One last hard thrust - the head of his cock dragging against the front of her walls - and Kate fell over the edge, screaming his name as she spasmed around him. Slowing his pace to let her ride out the wave, he pressed tender kisses along the column of her neck, murmuring praises into her skin. "Tha's my girl. So good to me. My best girl. My only girl." He continued his leisurely pace, letting her body recover, raising his head to gaze down at her.  
  
When her eyelids finally fluttered open, she breathed his name on a sigh. "That was... wow."  
  
He blushed at her praise, rewarding her with a firm plunge into her soaked core. "Ya got one more in ya, doll?"  
  
"Fuck, how are you still going?!" She could feel how insanely hard he was as he began increasing his pace again.  
  
"Serum," he answered simply, a cocky grin on his face. "Plus you are a fucking **goddess**! Never gonna get enough of you, doll!" He sped up his rhythm, returning to the hard tempo he'd maintained before. "Now gimme one more!"  
  
"Need you to touch me," she pleaded. "Need your fingers on me."  
  
Dropping his flesh hand to where they were joined, he flicked his thumb over her engorged clit. "Right here, sugar?"  
  
A keening moan escaped her lips. "Yessssss... oh, Bucky, juuuuuuust like that!" She closed her eyes, reveling in the sensations coursing through her body, the feel of every erotic invasion and aching retreat as Bucky continued to drive into her, every slam of his hips pushing her closer, closer.  
  
His rhythm stuttered once, then twice, the coil winding tighter. "Kate... fuck, Kate, please be close!" he begged, his blue eyes locking with her hazel gaze as her eyes shot open. "I'm so close, baby. Want you to cum with me." He pressed harder on her clit, swiping his thumb over her faster, faster, trying to bring her to the edge with him.  
  
Feeling the first tremors, she raked her nails down his back. "Bucky... Bucky... yes, baby... **BUCKY**!!!!!" The tension in her snapped as she screamed his name again, her walls contracting around his cock and sending him tumbling over the precipice.  
  
"Fuck, Kate!!!!" He spilled into her, hot ribbons of cum spurting deep into her body as he kept plunging into her, gradually slowing as their orgasms ebbed. Finally stilling, Bucky molded his lips to Kate's, kissing her tenderly, pouring his heart into the action, words still being too terrifying, too new to say aloud. He tried to keep his weight from resting on her, but she wouldn't have it, her arms around his back tugging him down onto her. "Don't wanna crush ya, sweetheart," he protested.  
  
"Don't care." She held tight to him, refusing to let go. "Want you to surround me. Makes me feel safe." She pressed a kiss to his right shoulder.  
  
Bucky's heart melted a little more at her confession; 'safe' wasn't a word he usually associated with himself, and yet here was his Kate - wrapped in his arms after the most earth-shattering sex he'd ever had - pleading with him to stay close because he made her feel **safe**. He didn't realize he'd let out a huff of disbelieving awe until she peered at him questioningly. "Kate, darlin', you have no idea how much that means to me."  
  
"I always feel safe with you, Bucky," she swore adamantly, reaching up to cup his cheek. "I **know **I'm safe with you."  
  
"Kate..." he breathed, humbled by her belief in him when he didn't even believe in himself most days. Unable to do anything else, he kissed her again, losing himself in everything she made him feel.  
  
  
***END FLASHBACK***  
  
"You know, that's the night I knew I loved you," he murmured.  
  
"Why's that?" She moved her right hand to rest over his heart.  
  
"Because you accepted the last of my scars," he clarified. "You'd already seen the rest of the shit. You knew all about my past. But that night you saw the physical scars. And somehow, you still wanted me. There was nothing but desire in your eyes; no disgust, no pity, nothing like that." He traced one long metal finger across her temple, brushing aside a lock of stray hair. "That's when I knew you were it for me. I was just too scared to admit it out loud."  
  
Kate's eyes softened even further, absolute love shining from the hazel depths. She swallowed back the emotions and gave him a conspiratorial smile. "I'll let you in on a little secret."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I knew." Her smile widened. "Your eyes have always spoken for you, James, and that night they were screaming with your love. Made me realize I loved you too."  
  
"God, woman, you are so damn perfect." Lifting her hand from his chest, he raised it to his lips, kissing each knuckle.  
  
She giggled, his scruff tickling the back of her hand. "You know, now that I think of it, there is one thing I've always wondered about, but never asked you."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Prior to that night, you hadn't had sex in 70-some odd years, not since before your capture and them giving you the serum."  
  
He nodded his affirmation, his brow furrowed as he tried to guess at her line of thinking.  
  
"So how did you know how short your refractory period would be?" She lifted one perfectly manicured brow at him.  
  
Bucky felt his face heat, knew his cheeks were probably flushed, as he stammered, "I, uh..." He cleared his throat, his eyes darting away from her probing stare. "Promise not to laugh?"  
  
"James, I would never laugh at you," she assured.  
  
"This might make you want to."  
  
"Well now I'm beyond curious."  
  
He licked his lips before biting down on the lower one, worrying it between his teeth. "After, uh... after SHIELD fell and I escaped Hydra," he began, still not really looking at her. "When I started getting my own mind back... Not even memories, really, just the feeling of being in control of my own head... well, my body followed pretty quickly." He chanced a glance at her and found that eyebrow still raised in question, urging him to continue. "It, uh... it didn't take much for my body to get... interested." Another glance revealed her lips pressed firmly together, her eyes sparkling, and he shook his head with a smile. "Told ya you'd wanna laugh."  
  
"No no, I'm sorry, go on," she prompted, doing her best to wipe the growing amusement from her expression.  
  
He shook his head once more before continuing. "I fought it for a little while. Maybe because I could, because I suddenly had the ability to make conscious decisions, I dunno. But once I finally gave in..." He cleared his throat again. "I never sought out a woman. Didn't trust myself, didn't wanna hurt anybody. Needed to stay unmemorable anyway. So of course that left..." Another clearing of his throat. "...left me to my own devices."  
  
"I'm guessing jerking off is another one of those things you don't forget," she mused playfully.  
  
He choked out a laugh. "You could say that," he affirmed. "The first time... after I... after I finished..."  
  
"You weren't finished," she surmised.  
  
Another choking laugh. "Not by a long shot. I came at least 5 or 6 times before I had to give my poor cock a break." A suspicious sound rumbled in Kate's chest, but to her credit, she didn't release the laugh. "Woulda kept going too, 'cause my damn body sure wanted to, but I was so fuckin' sore..."  
  
She did laugh then, pressing her hand to her lips to try and stop the sound. He leveled a glare at her, but there was no strength behind it. "I'm sorry, Bucky. Truly I am," she apologized with a giggle. "It's just..."  
  
"It's funny," he conceded, tilting his head in defeat. "I know. It's kinda embarrassing, but it is funny."  
  
"How long did that particular... side effect last?" She tried to school her face into a more serious expression and failed.  
  
"The longest two fucking weeks of my life," he admitted, running a hand through his hair. "Least it took me that long to gain some control over myself. After that I was able to tamp down the desire whenever it hit instead of literally **needing **to find release right then."  
  
Kate pressed her lips together again, trying to rein in her amusement; she failed. Again. A giggle bubbled up from her chest as she reached up to cup his jaw in her palm. "You... are the most adorable man. Ever," she grinned. "And I love you."  
  
Bucky let himself laugh with her. "And you are the most insufferable woman," he accused with a smirk. "But I wouldn't change one damn thing about you, because I love every single part of you."  
  
Stretching up to kiss him, she murmured against his lips, "Back to bed?"  
  
Hooking his arms beneath her back and knees, he wasted no time in rushing to their room, answering her suggestion with a muffled "Fuck, yes!" into her kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is NOT the end of Kate and Bucky's story! I don't really have anything plotted out though, and will only add chapters as I get inspired. Chapter 6 is already in the brainstorming phase. As promised, I will never leave y'all on a cliffhanger.
> 
> Comments are my life!!! :-*


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I have legit been working on this update since early October! It's a two part update, so there will be another chapter posted in a week or so.
> 
> In chapters 6 and 7, we will see what Kate was up to during the time that Bucky was gone, as well as explore her relationships with the Avengers.
> 
> Also, if you've read chapter 5 prior to 2-13-20, note that I have changed a few things around. Previously I had Bucky in a long-sleeve henley and Kate in a sweater and fleece-lined leggings to indicate winter. I finally got their relationship timeline straight in my head, and I've updated the chapter to reflect their first time occurring in August 2018 instead of later in the year. Nothing else changed, so you don't have to go back and read it (unless you want to, lol).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an FYI:  
******** is basically a "scene change", where not much time has passed.  
••••••••••••••••••••••• means there is a time lapse. Most of the time I will put the month and year.

February 2019:  
  
Pushing open the door, Kate tossed her keys onto the hall table, setting her purse down next to them and closing the door behind her. "Bucky, I'm home!" she greeted cheerily. Toeing off her flats and wandering further into the apartment, her brow furrowed as she realized all the lights were off. "Bucky?" she tried again. No answer. He should have already been home, since on Fridays there usually weren't very many maintenance projects at the VA. Heading towards their bedroom, she called out in a strained voice, "James, this isn't funny, where are you?" Silence. The master suite was as empty as the rest of the apartment. Making her way back to the front hall, she retrieved her phone from her purse and dialed Bucky's cell. When it went straight to voicemail, she hung up and changed tactics.  
  
"Kate." Steve's deep timbre rumbled through the line when he answered her call.  
  
"Is Bucky with you?" The question rushed from her lips before Steve had even finished saying her name.  
  
"No, why?"  
  
"Did they have extra projects for him down at the VA?"  
  
"Not that I know of," he replied. "Kate, what's going on?"  
  
"He's not home. He's always home before me on Fridays." Her tone was laced with worry. "His phone went straight to voicemail."  
  
"He probably forgot to charge it," Steve assumed, his tone placating. "I'm sure he'll be home soon, maybe he just went to grab dinner for you two."  
  
"No! Steve, something's wrong, this isn't like him!" she insisted, panic edging into her voice.  
  
"Alright, just breathe, sweetheart," he urged, ever the level head. "Let me make some calls, I'll see what I can find out."

********

Two hours later, Kate was pacing the floor. When her phone rang, she nearly jumped out of her skin as she practically dove to reach it. "Steve?"  
  
On the other end, Steve had to take a deep breath; there was so much desperate hope in her voice and he had nothing to give her. "He hasn't been at the VA all day," he informed her reluctantly. "We ran a trace on his phone, but it's been shut off. The last GPS signal was there at your apartment." He paused, stumbling over words in his mind before finally settling on, "I'm sure everything's fine, sweetheart. Maybe he just needed some space to clear his head. You know how he gets sometimes."  
  
"He wouldn't go without telling me!" she declared, fighting the urge to stamp her foot at her friend's infernal optimism. "He always tells me!"  
  
Steve sighed heavily, and she could imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose. "Kate, what do you want me to say?" He sounded tired, worried.  
  
Deflating, Kate let herself drop onto the couch, laying back and throwing an arm over her eyes. "I'm sorry," she heaved. "I'm just worried."  
  
He paused before confessing, "I am too." Another pause. "Do you want me to come over and stay with you until he gets home?"  
  
A breath of air rushed from her lungs as she tried to exhale her fears. "No, it's fine," she assured, swiping a hand over her face.  
  
"I don't mind."  
  
"Steve, I survived many years on my own without super soldiers to babysit me," she reminded fondly, his protectiveness endearing. "I'll be fine, Captain."  
  
She could hear his smile through the phone. "You're a cheeky dame."  
  
"Damn right," she grinned before adding soberly, "Call me if you hear anything."

********

Late the next morning, there was a knock at Kate's front door. She rushed to open it, knowing Bucky wouldn't knock, but harboring the irrational hope anyway. Instead she found Steve on the other side, one forearm braced against the door frame, head tipped down studying the floor. He raised his gaze when she flung open the door, peering at her through his long lashes. His expression was set into what Kate thought of as his 'Captain' face, and her heart stuttered. "Steve..." She swallowed, trying to steady her voice. "Where is he?"  
  
Steve sighed, a long, heavy sound full of trepidation. "I don't know."  
  
"That's not good enough," she snapped. "What do you know?"  
  
Another sigh as his head tilted to one side. "Not much." He paused before asking gently, "Can I come in?"  
  
Kate glared up at him, crossing her arms beneath her chest. "Not until you tell me what's going on," she insisted forcefully.  
  
"Kate..."  
  
"Now, Rogers."  
  
He raked a nervous hand through his blond locks. "He called me this morning," he admitted. "From a burner."  
  
"Why the hell is he calling from a burner?" she demanded. "And why did he call you and not me?!"  
  
She watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed visibly. He looked down at the floor to compose himself before lifting his head fully, his blue eyes holding her hazel stare. "He told me to take care of you."  
  
"Take care of me? Why on earth would you need to... oh my god." Knees buckling as realization slammed into her, she felt Steve's strong arms come around her waist, keeping her upright. Her lungs refused to draw air and her heart clenched so tightly, she feared it would stop beating.  
  
"Kate, breathe, sweetheart," Steve murmured in her ear. "I need you to breathe for me."  
  
She stood in his half-embrace for a moment before snapping her gaze to his face. "No!" she raged, balling her hands into fists and pummeling them against Steve's chest. "No!!"  
  
"Let's go inside, sweetheart..." he coaxed, trying to guide her backwards through the entryway.  
  
"No!!" she repeated, shoving him so abruptly that he actually took a step back. "Why aren't you looking for him?! Go! Find him!"  
  
"Kate..."  
  
"Go! Now!" Her voice was on the edge of screaming and he could hear the panic behind it.  
  
"We tried," he said evenly. "FRIDAY used every trick she had. The number was completely untraceable."  
  
"Then go out and look yourself!"  
  
"What do you want me to do, Kate, turn over every rock in New York? In the country?" he prodded, his own tone rising.  
  
"Yes! Damnit, if you won't, I will!" She went to push past him, but he caught her firmly by the shoulders.  
  
"Kate..."  
  
"Don't 'Kate' me!" she snapped, her eyes blazing fire. "If you're not helping, you're in my way!"  
  
Spying a neighbor in his peripheral vision, he gripped her forearms and forced her backwards, shutting the door behind him when he got her into the apartment. When she tried to go around him again, he hauled her up and over his shoulder, striding into the living room.  
  
"Put me down, Rogers!" Her breath rushed from her lungs when he practically flung her onto the couch, his arms landing on either side of her body to trap her against the back of the cushions.  
  
"Will you listen to me?!" he pleaded, his voice losing his 'Captain' tone. "Jesus, don't you think I want to rush off to find him?! I've already lost him more times in this lifetime and the last than I care to count! But if he doesn't want to be found, there's not a damn thing you or I can do about it!" Staring down at her, he saw her eyes turn glassy and the tension drained from him in an instant. "Christ, Kate, I'm sorry." He sat next to her and pulled her onto his lap, folding her into his arms.  
  
She was silent, pressing her face into his broad chest. When she lifted her gaze to his, her cheeks were damp, eyes flooding as she whispered, "Why? Why, Stevie, why?"  
  
He tucked her head against his shoulder, stroking a hand over her hair. "I don't know," he sighed. "I really don't. All he said was to take care of you. Wouldn't tell me where he was or why. Barely let me assure him that I would look out for you before he hung up. When I tried to call back, he never answered. I assume he shut the phone off and tossed it, because by the time FRIDAY started her trace there was nothing to find." He swiped a stray tear from her face with his thumb. "Can you think of anything that would make him run like this?"  
  
She shook her head as she started to speak. "No, nothing's hap... wait." Her brow furrowed as she cocked her head.  
  
"What is it?" His hand stilled against her back where he'd been rubbing soothing circles.  
  
"A few weeks ago, he woke up screaming," she began. "It was worse than usual, worse than I've ever seen. Took me forever to get him to open up."  
  
"Did he remember something new?"  
  
Kate shook her head. "It wasn't a memory nightmare, he'd dreamed that he'd hurt me. That he'd been triggered and nearly killed me. I told him that wasn't possible anymore, the Soldier's gone, and that **he**, Bucky, would never hurt me. He finally settled and I managed to get him to sleep for another few hours. I thought that was the end of it, but..." Her voice trailed off, her eyes looking past him to stare into nothing.  
  
"But...?" he prompted, using one finger to turn her gaze back to his.  
  
"He's been waking more frequently since then. Not every night, and he doesn't always cry out, though he does jolt awake hard enough to rouse me. But he won't talk about it. Says it's nothing and just tells me to go back to sleep." She paused, lowering her head and picking at the fabric of her jeans before locking eyes with him again. "Steve, what if that nightmare kept coming back? What if that's all he's been seeing when he sleeps? If he's had that locked up in his head for all this time, would that fear be enough to..."  
  
"To make him run?" Steve finished. "Yeah. Yeah, I think it would be." He heaved a sigh, musing aloud, "Damnit, Buck, why'd you have to do this?" Another sigh escaped his lungs as he ran a hand through his hair. "I won't stop looking for him, Kate. I may not be able to just go out and haul him home right now, but I promise you, I'll find him. Somehow, I'll get him home to you."  
  
"You'd better," she said solemnly. "Or I'm gonna make your life a living hell." Her half-smirk gave away the emptiness of her threat and he grinned down at her.  
  
"How he puts up with your sassy ass, I'll never know," he teased.  
  
Stretching up, she smacked a kiss against his bearded cheek. "He loves me," she explained simply. "And so do you."  
  
He chuckled in agreement. "Yeah, but now I understand why Bucky always complained that sisters were a pain in the ass."  
  
"You're a punk," she accused.  
  
"And you're a jerk," he retorted, still grinning. "That's why you're my best friend's girl."  
  
Kate shook her head fondly. She may have been an only child, but she knew she had a brother in Steve Rogers. She slid off his lap and held out her hand. "You brought me bad news, therefore you owe me lunch," she asserted, grasping his larger hand in hers as he stood.  
  
"Yes, ma'am."

•••••••••••••••••••••••

Three weeks passed with no word from Bucky. Steve had FRIDAY running constant facial recognition, extending the search internationally after the first week. He tried getting Kate to move into Bucky's old room at the compound, but she refused, insisting she was a big girl and could take care of herself, thank you very much. That didn't stop Steve from crashing on her couch most nights, despite her protests. "He told you to take care of me, not smother me," she'd accused after several nights, glaring at him as he shook out his blanket and settled in to sleep. He'd ignored her, of course. She was Bucky's girl, and he'd been entrusted with her safety.

The morning marking the third week dawned like any other. Steve slipped out of Kate's apartment for his morning run, heading towards Central Park. He'd been gone nearly an hour when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Slowing his pace, he took it out, glancing down to see a text message from an unknown number. Halting abruptly, he opened it, knowing immediately who it was from. "Damnit, Buck," he muttered once he'd read the message. Pulling up Natasha's contact information, he hoped she was already awake.  
  
"You'd better have a damn good reason for calling so early, Rogers," she groused irritably, her voice still sleep-laden.  
  
"Nat, I need you to have FRIDAY trace the number of my last incoming text," he directed.  
  
"Barnes?" she questioned after passing on Steve's instructions to the A.I.  
  
"Yeah," he confirmed. "Look, just let me know what you can find. I know the idiot won't answer a call, but I'm going to try texting back before he dumps this phone too."  
  
"Good luck. Give Kate a hug for me."  
  
"Thanks, will do." He hung up and pulled up the text again, shaking his head at the short, terse message.  
  
_B: I'm alive. Safe. Keep looking out for my girl.  
  
__S: No one can take care of her like you can, Buck. Come home. She misses you. She needs you.  
  
_He sent the message before pocketing his phone and turning back towards the apartment.

********

He and Kate were finishing breakfast when his phone chimed. A single-word text from Natasha read simply: _Amsterdam._ Slipping the phone into the pocket of his jeans, he pushed back from the table, gathering his dishes and walking to the kitchen sink.  
  
"I've got some work to do at the compound," he hedged. "Will you be alright for a while?"  
  
She glared at him and raised an eyebrow as she watched him clean up, placing his rinsed dishes into the dishwasher. "Haven't we been having this discussion nearly every day for three weeks?" she dead-panned, returning her attention to her food.  
  
Steve tilted his head sideways to concede the point as he made his way over to her. "I may not be back tonight," he informed, placing a hand on her shoulder and dropping a brotherly kiss to the top of her head. "But I'll let you know." She hummed in acknowledgment and he sighed. He knew she felt he was being overbearing, but he was only trying to do as Bucky had asked. "Call me if you need me," he directed, striding to the front door. As he reached a hand to the knob, he turned back to face her. "Kate..."  
  
"Stevie, you know I love you," she stated quietly, looking across the room at him. "But I need you to give me some space. Please."  
  
He sighed heavily. "I'll try," he promised. "I just don't want to let Bucky down."  
  
She smiled softly, resting her chin in her hand as she gazed at him and shook her head slightly. "Never that, Captain," she assured. "Now go on." She gestured toward the door with her fork. "Avenge the world or whatever."  
  
"I'm retired," he reminded with a grin, opening the door.  
  
"Eh," she dismissed, waving a hand in farewell.  
  
He let himself chuckle as he exited the apartment, retrieving his bike from the garage and speeding towards the compound. One more mission: bring Bucky home.

********

Steve glanced down at the locator in his hands, checking that he was on the right path. Nat had said the signal had stopped transmitting on the outskirts of Amsterdam's tourist district. He'd passed several hostels in the last half hour, each one seeming to get seedier than the last, when he came upon one that looked recently renovated. An old woman stood on the stoop, a broom in her gnarled hands as she swept dirt into the street. He had a feeling this was his destination, an instinct confirmed a moment later when the locator trilled an alarm. The sound drew the woman's attention and she looked up at him with a welcoming smile.  
  
"_Goedenmiddag_, _jongeman_, (Good afternoon, young man,)" she greeted as she set her broom aside.  
  
"_Goedenmiddag_, _mevrouw_ (ma'am)," he returned, grimacing at his own pronunciation. "English?" His Dutch was minimal at best.  
  
"_Ja_, of course," she confirmed, her accent thick but understandable. "How can I help?"  
  
"I'm looking for a friend," he explained, pulling up a photo of Bucky on his phone and turning it to show her.  
  
"Oh, _ja_, I know this man," she smiled widely. "Do work for me, he did." She gestured to the building behind her, indicating the new wooden shutters and even the freshly planted flower beds. "Prettiest hostel on road now," she beamed proudly.  
  
"He wouldn't happen to still be here, would he?" Steve fought the superstitious urge to cross his fingers as his hopes soared.  
  
She shook her head and Steve felt those hopes plummet. "No, I fear you have just missed him," she apologized. "He leave yesterday after lunch. Going to see family in Antwerp, he tells me."  
  
Well the family part was a lie, but at least it gave him a new place to look. "_Dank je_, _dank je_,” he thanked profusely, nodding his head to her as he went to pull up Nat's number and turned to go.  
  
"Captain Rogers," she called, surprising him as he whirled back to face her. His shock must have shown, because she smiled as she said, "Yes, I know who you are. I may only have been little girl when you make your sacrifice, but I remember. You save world. Many times now, it seems."  
  
He blushed, ducking his head momentarily. "Just did what needed to be done, ma'am," he brushed off modestly. "Same as anyone."  
  
"Humph," she bristled while smiling fondly at him, not believing for an instant that anyone else would do the same. "I think no. But that is not why you are here." She paused, picking up her broom again. "This friend, you know him long, long time, I think."  
  
"Yes, ma'am," he admitted truthfully.  
  
"Hmm. You find him, you tell him old _Grootmoeder_ say hello," she requested. "And you say... you say to him to find what make his heart happy. I see much sadness in those pretty blue eyes."  
  
Steve stared at the wise woman before him, marveling at her perception and a little bit amused at her use of the term grandmother when both he and Bucky were old enough to have been her father. "I will," he assured, smiling warmly at her. "I'm here to take him home. His happiness is there waiting for him with open arms."  
  
She nodded sagely, a small smile on her aged lips. "I am glad." Squaring her shoulders, she shooed him away with her broom. "Off with you now, Captain. You waste time talking to an old woman."  
  
His grin spread as he turned away. "_Vaarwel_, _kleintje_, (Goodbye, little one,)" he chuckled as he lifted a hand towards her, catching her blush as she waved him off. Walking back the way he came, he called Natasha.  
  
"Any luck?" she asked when she answered.  
  
"Missed him by about 24 hours," he sighed, shoving a hand through his hair. "I might have a lead though. The hostel owner said Bucky mentioned he was headed towards Antwerp."  
  
The sound of keys tapping could be heard through the line. "Got it, I'm having FRIDAY focus her facial rec search to Antwerp and the surrounding areas," she informed. "I seriously doubt he's actually going there though. He wouldn't be so sloppy as to give away his trail so easily. But I'll have FRIDAY run a search for Barnes' face at all transportation hubs in Amsterdam for yesterday afternoon. Maybe we can get a hint as to where he **is** going."  
  
"You think he's purposefully trying to throw us off his scent?"  
  
He could almost see her shrugging her shoulders. "It's what I would do if I knew someone was going to be looking for me," she explained. "If you don't want to be found, you don't tell anyone where you're going. If you want to get ahead of someone who's following you, you throw them in a different direction than you're actually going."  
  
He heaved a disappointed sigh. "So he's not in Antwerp?"  
  
"Very doubtful," she agreed. "But at least we know he's likely left Amsterdam. Might have a better chance of picking up his trail."  
  
"God, I hope so." He swiped one large palm over his face. "How's Kate?"  
  
There was silence for a moment before she finally began, "She's..." Another pause. "I don't know if you wanna go back over there when you get home, Steve. Might wanna give her a day or two to cool off."  
  
"That bad, huh?" he grimaced.  
  
"I believe the words she used were 'string him up by his balls' for not telling her about the message and then leaving her behind."  
  
He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose; that sounded like Kate alright. "Maybe it was a bad idea to send you over there," he lamented. "Maybe I should have just left her alone for the night like she's been wanting, then she'd never have known I was gone."  
  
"And lie to the woman that's practically your sister? You never could've done it, Rogers," Nat scoffed fondly.  
  
Sliding his hand down to the back of his neck, Steve groaned an affirmative. "Still..."  
  
"She'll forgive you eventually, just back off for a couple days," Natasha assured. "She'll be fine on her own and you know it."  
  
"Other than threats to my manhood, how did everything go?"  
  
"Might've gotten her a little tipsy." He could picture her unaffected shrug again. "I brought margarita mix and tequila. And Wanda. We painted each other's toenails and watched cheesy rom-coms. We haven't gotten to spend as much time with her as we'd like, so we made a girls' night of it. I left Wanda with her when I headed back to the compound this morning."  
  
Steve smiled, picturing his three best girls curled up on Kate's couch as they drank margaritas and enjoyed each other's company. He was glad Nat and Wanda had someone like Kate in their lives. They were surrounded by work and a bunch of testosterone at the compound; Kate's presence brought a measure of normalcy to the lives of the only two female Avengers. She brought a measure of normalcy to all their lives, really. With her bright smile, cheery confidence, and gentle acceptance, Kate had quickly become close with most everyone on the team when Bucky started bringing her around last year.  
  
"I lose you, Steve?" He could hear her smirk through the line; she knew his mind had drifted.  
  
"Yeah, I'm, uh... I'm still here," he confirmed.  
  
"I'll let you know if I pick up anything on Barnes," she said, returning to the subject at hand. "Get some food, I doubt you've eaten much since you took off."  
  
The observation brought another smile to his face. "You know me too well, Nat."  
  
"Bye, Steve," she grinned. "Have a _kroket_ for me."  
  
The line clicked dead and Steve chuckled as he returned the phone to his pocket. Food first, then hopefully Natasha would have a lead for him. He hated the thought of having to return home to Kate empty-handed.

********

Two days later, despite tracking every clue they could uncover, he'd had to admit defeat. Now he stood outside Kate's apartment door, hand hesitantly poised to knock. He had a key, but figured entering unannounced wouldn't go over very well today. Just as his knuckles tapped the wood, the door swung open to reveal Kate's stony expression. His mouth opened, then closed, his mind struggling to find words, knowing he'd hurt her with his actions. Finally settling on an uncertain "Hi," he gave her an apologetic smile.  
  
She stared him down long enough that he internally started to squirm. Had she been taking lessons from Natasha? Finally she simply turned and walked away, the open door her only invitation.  
  
He followed her into the apartment, settling against one of the tall stools that sat at the kitchen island bar as he waited for her to speak. When she kept up her silent regard, even raising her brows at him as she leaned on the back of a cushioned chair with her arms crossed, he accepted the reproach and made the first move. "I'm sorry," he apologized, hands resting on his thighs. "I should have told you." Still she held his gaze, her hazel eyes sharp. He sighed. "I didn't want to get your hopes up in case... in case I couldn't find him."  
  
"And did you?" she finally asked, her voice tight and even. "Find him?  
  
Steve heaved a sigh, crossing his arms across his broad chest. "No," he admitted, hanging his head briefly before locking eyes with her again. "I wouldn't be here without him if I had. You have to know that."  
  
She nodded once, finally shifting her gaze away from him as she pushed off the chair and walked over to the couch, settling with her back against the arm. Her eyes flicked from him to the other side of the couch and he took the hint, striding the short distance from the kitchen to join her on the sofa, perching uneasily on the edge of the cushion.  
  
"Kate..." he began, turning to her. But she'd already dropped her stoic façade and was crawling across the space between them to tuck herself under his arm, pressing her face into his chest and forcing his body to recline against the pillows. The tension in his muscles eased as he slid both arms around her waist, giving what comfort she'd allow.  
  
"Can I see it?" she asked quietly, not looking up at him. "Tasha told me what it said, I just... wanna see his words." She barely lifted her head, gazing up at him through her dark lashes. "Is that weird?"  
  
Steve smiled down at her, rubbing her back soothingly. "No, sweetheart, that's not weird," he assured. Pulling his phone from his front pocket, he opened the text message and handed the device to her.  
  
She stared down at the nine words, ghosting her fingers over the screen. When she raised her face fully to him, there were tears in her eyes. "I miss him, Stevie," she whispered, her voice breaking on his name. "So, so much."  
  
Steve had to fight back his own tears as he gathered her into his arms, lifting her onto his lap and tucking her head beneath his chin. "I know, sweetheart," he sighed. "I know you do. I'm sorry. I tried."  
  
He felt her nod against his sternum. "I never doubted it. Just..." She leaned back to look at him. "Tell me next time? Please?"  
  
"I promise," he vowed, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. "No more secrets."

•••••••••••••••••••••••

March 2019:

Five weeks and two days. He'd been gone five weeks and two days, and the ache in her heart was still as raw as it had been the first day. Pain warred with anger, shifting back and forth as she tried to come to terms with Bucky's decision. One moment she wanted to wail her devastation, the next she was determined to rip his head off for running away instead of facing his fears.  
  
But tonight wasn't the time for either emotion. It was his birthday, and she refused to harbor such negative thoughts on a day that should have been a celebration. So she'd pulled out the bottle of Bucky's favorite whiskey and poured a small amount into a glass tumbler. She didn't have a particular fondness for the strong liquor, but it made her feel close to him.  
  
She was mid-way through her drink, sitting on the floor with her back against the front of the couch and her legs crossed underneath her when she heard the front door unlock. She froze in turning the page of the large book on the coffee table, knowing it probably wasn't Bucky, but desperately hoping it was. Steve's dark blond head appeared and she quickly controlled her crestfallen expression, greeting her friend with a soft smile as he entered the apartment and closed the door. "Hey, you." Her voice was low and quiet, but she knew he'd hear her.  
  
Steve lifted his head after toeing off his shoes, using his foot to move them to the side as he shrugged out of his jacket and laid it over the hall table. He paused, slightly thrown off by her gentle reception. Usually she simply rolled her eyes when he came over to settle in for the night, preferring that he give her more space than he was ready to give.  
  
"There's whiskey on the counter," she offered, nodding towards the kitchen and returning her gaze to the book.  
  
Curious, he walked over and lifted the bottle, scanning the label before looking back at her. "This is Bucky's favorite," he noted.  
  
She hummed a confirmation, taking a slow sip from her glass, grimacing slightly as it burned down her throat. "Seemed appropriate tonight," she shrugged.  
  
He watched her for a moment before finally conceding with a small smile, "So it is." Grabbing a tumbler from the cabinet, he poured a healthy portion for himself before padding into the living room, lowering himself onto the floor beside her. She had a scrapbook spread out in front of her, the pages filled with old photos of vaguely familiar people. "What's this?" he questioned, raising his glass to his lips and taking a long pull of the amber liquid.  
  
"Bucky's birthday present," she replied quietly, tracing her fingertips around the edges of the book. "I've been waiting two months to give it to him." Her voice was tinged with regret as she said, "Guess I shouldn't have waited."  
  
Steve gestured to a photo showing a pretty brunette in long white dress, a tall, dark-haired man in a suit by her side. "Who is this?" he asked, though he had a pretty good guess.  
  
"Rebecca." She ghosted her fingers over the portrait of Bucky's younger sister with her husband on their wedding day. "1946."  
  
"And this?" He tapped the black-and-white photo below it, a bright-eyed infant gazing out at them from beneath dark downy hair.  
  
"James Andrew Proctor." She glanced sideways at Steve. "Rebecca's oldest child." His head snapped up, catching her gaze, his eyes filled with surprise. She shrugged, looking back down and turning the page. "I may have had Tony track down some contacts for me. He grumbled about it the whole way, but he adores me too much to tell me no."  
  
That was definitely true, he thought fondly. She had the whole team practically wrapped around her finger just by being her sweet, sassy self. Hell, even Fury would probably come running if she beckoned. "How did he find so many personal photos?" he wondered, noting the thickness of the scrapbook.  
  
"He didn't. I did." Steve raised a brow at that, looking down at her questioningly. "Tony got me James Proctor's current address. I went over. Told him who I was. He was more than happy to share with me whatever I wanted. Apparently he and his sister idolized Bucky growing up. Rebecca made sure her kids knew that her brother was a hero. She did so well, neither of them believed any of the shit the news aired about him when the Winter Soldier surfaced."  
  
Steve blinked back tears as he returned his gaze to the photos. A small girl stood in a light-colored sundress next to an older boy wearing dress shorts, a button-up, and suspenders. Written below in Kate's neat handwriting were the words 'Easter 1955. Georgia, 6, and James, 8.'  
  
"Named after her father and brother," he realized, remembering George Barnes with a smile. Flicking his thumb over the remaining pages, he asked, "Is this whole thing full of pictures like this?"  
  
She slid the book closer to him, letting him leaf through it. "All three sisters and their families," she confirmed. "James was very helpful. Gathered copies from his sister and cousins. He'd have me over every couple of weeks to tell me stories and give me another batch of pictures."  
  
"Does Bucky know...?"  
  
"That I found his nephew?" Steve nodded. "Yes. But not that I met with him. When I tried to convince Bucky to reach out to James, he refused. 'I'm just a ghost in their past, doll. Best to stay that way.'" Steve's lips quirked at hearing her imitation of his best friend's Brooklyn drawl. "Nothing I said made a difference," she continued. "His mind was made up. That's when I got the idea to make this. I knew that despite his protests, he really did want to know about his sisters' lives."  
  
Steve shook his head incredulously, slowly turning each page and marveling at her thoroughness. There were wedding photos for each of the girls; infant portraits of his nieces and nephews; dozens of candid shots documenting their lives, spanning decades upon decades. His voice shook when he finally spoke around the lump in his throat. "This is perfect, Kate. He'll love it."  
  
She took another sip of whiskey. "If he ever sees it."  
  
The despondency in her voice nearly broke his heart. "Don't," he insisted firmly. "He will." If he had to go to the gates of Hell itself, Steve swore he'd bring Bucky back to the strong but vulnerable woman at his side.  
  
Kate let herself lean into him, resting her head against his shoulder. "When?" she whispered on a shaky breath.  
  
He turned and pressed a kiss to her hair. "I don't know," he admitted. "But he will. Have faith, sweetheart." He felt her nod against his bicep before he tugged her under his arm, raising his glass in the other hand and downing the rest of his whiskey.  
  
"Happy birthday, Bucky," came Kate's quiet whisper against his chest. "Wherever you are."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the tearsssssss!!!! Part 2 will be posted in a week or so!
> 
> As always, thank you to my freaking AMAZING beta chaosgroupie, without whom this chapter and the next would NOT have been possible! She kept me going with ideas, encouragement, and just overall awesomeness!! Thank you, D!!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate continues living her life while waiting for Bucky to return...

May 2019:

Thirteen weeks and three days. Far too long, far too fast. Kate was certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that Bucky would eventually come home, but the waiting and not knowing still made her heart and soul ache with such ferocity that some days she just wanted to hide under the covers and not come out. But she knew if she gave into that feeling her faith would begin to die, so she soldiered on, reminding herself daily how much Bucky loved her. That he would realize he could never hurt her -- no matter what his nightmares depicted -- and come back to her.

She was in the kitchen when there was a knock at her front door. Expecting the pizza delivery guy, she went to answer it, surprised to find a young man with a large vase of pale pink roses on the other side. "Yes?"

"I have a delivery for Kate Summers," he explained, extending his burden towards her when she confirmed her identity with a nod.

She took it, thanking him as she closed the door. Perplexed, she set the flowers down on the hall table, searching for a card and finding none. Who the hell was sending her flowers? Her birthday wasn't for months, and she doubted any of her friends would send her roses.

When similar deliveries arrived the next two nights -- yellow roses the first, deep red the next -- Kate was starting to have her suspicions as to their sender, but couldn't imagine how in the world it could be true. Or why he hadn't just come home and brought them himself.

White roses tipped with pink arrived the fourth night, dark pink roses the fifth. She was starting to run out of surface space to place all the vases she was accumulating, but with every delivery, her suspicions grew stronger.

The next day, Steve let himself into her apartment and was met with the colorful sight of dozens of roses scattered across the space. "Uh, Kate?" he called out, setting down his keys. Flowers weren't something she usually decorated with, and certainly not so many when she did.

She emerged from her bedroom, tying an elastic around the end of the damp braid that dangled over her shoulder. "Oh hey, Steve," she greeted with a small smile. He didn't come by on a regular schedule anymore, so the tension that had begun to settle over their friendship when Bucky first left was starting to dissipate.

"What is..." he started, still peering around at the various bouquets as he approached her. "Where did... who...?"

Kate sighed, following his gaze. "I have a sneaking suspicion this is Bucky's doing," she theorized as she gestured him towards the kitchen. "Though I'm at a loss as to how he accomplished it."

"**Four** sets of roses?!" he asked incredulously, waving away her silent offer of coffee when she raised a mug at him with an arched brow.

"Five," she clarified, pouring herself a cup of the steaming brew. "There's one bouquet in my room."

"What makes you think this is Bucky?"

Kate looked down into her coffee, tracing the rim of the mug. "Today's our anniversary," she confessed quietly. "The deliveries started on Monday. One every day this week. A different floral company every time. No note on any of them."

Steve let out a breath of sympathy. "I didn't realize that was today," he said softly. "I'm sorry."

"One year," she confirmed, raising her gaze to his. "And here I am, still waiting for him to come home."

"Kate..."

"I'll be waiting next May too, if he's still gone." Her voice shook slightly, but he could hear the raw determination behind the tremor. "But I hope I won't have to."

Wordlessly, Steve crossed over to her and tugged her into his arms, his hands running soothing circles over her back as she pressed her face against his sternum. After several minutes had passed in silence, he tipped her chin up and looked down at her. "Do you want me to stay tonight? Or maybe send over Wanda and Nat?"

She shook her head, easing from his embrace. "No, but thank you for the thought," she said, giving him a grateful smile. "I got a ton of photos of me and Bucky printed up last week. Just gonna have a quiet night in with our favorite wine and put together a scrapbook."

"You're sure?"

"Mmmhmm," she hummed, nodding. "It's one of the things I would have wanted to do with him during our anniversary week if he were here."

Steve smiled, the expression bittersweet. "That sounds nice. Bucky would have liked that."

"He's a romantic sap and I love him for it," she agreed, her lips quirking fondly as she imagined going through the memories with him.

He paused a moment, appreciating the strength she was showing, had shown for the past three months. If he hadn't already been positive that she was the perfect partner for his best friend, he definitely was now. "He'll come home, Kate," he assured, conviction in his tone.

She nodded as she said firmly, "I know he will." Her lips pressed together before she exhaled, "I just wish I knew when."

••••••••••••••••••••••••

July 2019:

When Steve's birthday rolled around in July, Tony threw a party to celebrate. In true Tony fashion, it was over-the-top, but at least he'd finally figured out that the "down home" feel was better for Steve, so an extravagant gala at the Met with a host of "who's who" attendees had been nixed in favor of a barbeque at the compound with only Steve's friends and coworkers in attendance.

Climbing off Steve's motorcycle after they'd pulled up, Kate shook her head in amusement as she looked over the lawns. There was red, white, and blue **everywhere**, from the streamers connecting the tiki torches, to the vinyl tablecloths laid over the picnic tables, right down to the colors of the plasticware and paper plates. She turned to see Steve unstrapping her overnight bag from the bike's storage rack and throwing it over his shoulder, grinning like a fool as he too shook his head at the craziness that was Tony.

"He's insane," she declared fondly, trying and failing to take her bag from Steve's hands.

"He's Tony," he countered. "And I'd rather this than his usual kind of party." He tossed an arm casually over her shoulders. "Come on, let's get you settled in."

Despite the party not being a surprise, she'd still been tasked with keeping the birthday boy busy all day while the compound was transformed. Since there was likely to be revelry going on late into the night -- not to mention plenty of alcohol -- Kate had decided just this once to let Steve coddle her, agreeing to stay the night in Bucky's old room. She'd ridden in with Steve instead of driving herself simply because he had business in the city the next day and could return her home then. And maybe, just for the ride up, she'd let herself imagine it was Bucky's back she was pressed against as the motorcycle had flown down the highway, instead of his best friend's.

After dropping off her bag, they joined the others outside, Steve slipping away to speak with Tony. She could see the Barton kids and Cassie Lang racing around with Scott chasing them, headed towards a roped-off area filled with inflatables of all kinds. Sitting cross-legged on a blanket spread on the grass, Laura called out for them to be careful, but they just giggled, piling into the nearest bounce house. Clint smiled, leaning back on his hands and saying something Kate couldn't hear; probably verbally shrugging off his wife's worry. Nearby, Wanda reclined against Vision in a large Adirondack chair, nestled between his long legs. Natasha lay on her stomach on another blanket set between the two couples, watching her godchildren play. Gathered around a table laden with beverage coolers stood Sam, Rhodey, and Thor, each with a bottle of beer in hand.

"Lady Kathryn!" Thor boomed when he caught sight of her, catching her in a bear hug that would have knocked the breath from her lungs if she hadn't been expecting it. "It is good to see you, little warrior."

Rolling her eyes at the endearment, she returned his fierce embrace. "Glad you could make it, Thor," she greeted, accepting hugs from Sam and Rhodey in turn after the Asgardian released her.

"You doin' okay, kid?" Rhodey questioned.

"As well as can be expected," she shrugged, determined not to let the sadness of missing Bucky interfere with the celebration of Steve's birthday.

"You and Steve ever track down all those flower purchases?" Sam probed, handing her one of the wine coolers he knew she favored.

Accepting the bottle with a gracious tip of her head, she sighed a negative response. "It was the same story at every shop we visited. Teenager came in, ordered a dozen roses to be delivered with no note. Only three of the shops had cameras, and we were only able to track down two of the teens. Both told us the same thing: they found envelopes slipped under their doors with their names on them. Inside were instructions about the flowers, along with cash to pay for them, with some extra thrown in for the kid's time and effort."

"And you're still convinced it was Bucky?" Sam asked, taking a sip of his beer.

"It's the only thing that makes sense," she confirmed. "Whether he's in New York now, I don't know. But at some point he was, long enough to surveil the neighborhoods to determine who he could trust enough to actually do the errand and not just take the money and run."

"'Tis a romantic gesture, to be sure," Thor mused. "Though perhaps more so if delivered by his own hand."

Sam and Rhodey both looked down at their feet, the latter clearing his throat as if to warn Thor away from the topic. Kate nudged her shoulder against Thor's arm when his expression began to morph into regret. "Hey, it's okay," she consoled. "Don't think I haven't had the same thought."

"'Twas still ill said," he admitted. "You have my apologies."

She gave his arm another nudge, smiling gently in forgiveness. When Pepper caught her eye and waved her over from across the yard, Kate excused herself from the three men and walked over to her friend, nodding an acknowledgment to Maria and Fury as she passed them. "Hey, Pep, how are you?" she greeted, hugging the taller woman. "How's motherhood?" She glanced down at the brown-eyed baby perched in an infant seat on the table, happily surveying the activities going on around her. Born at the beginning of the year, Morgan Stark was the apple of her parents' eyes.

Pepper tilted her head as she confessed, "Still adjusting. Thankfully a lot of my CEO duties can be done from home." Catching the wistful look in Kate's eyes, she lifted her daughter out of the supportive seat. "Do you want to hold her?"

Immediately stretching her arms out, Kate let out a squeal of delight. "Pretty please!"

Transferring Morgan to Kate's embrace, Pepper smiled. Kate had the baby tucked against her chest, her nose buried in the downy hair covering her tiny head. Cooing lowly, she rocked Morgan side to side, a look of absolute bliss on her face. "It suits you," Pepper observed.

Blushing, she adjusted the baby to one side, extracting a lock of hair from her chubby fist. "Someday," she agreed.

"Excuse me, Miss?" Tony interrupted, coming towards them and snapping his fingers playfully at Kate, Steve following behind him. "Miss, I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to ask you to step away from the baby. Slowly now. No sudden movements."

Pepper and Kate exchanged a look while Steve just shook his head, arms crossed across his chest. "Tony, play nice," Pepper chastised sweetly.

"What? I was very nice. Wasn't I nice, Kate?" He hooked his arms around his wife's waist and kissed her lips. "I'm a very nice person. The nicest."

Pepper rolled her eyes, peering at Kate over her husband's shoulder. "Keep her as long as you like," she offered. "Come find me if she gets to be too much." Returning her attention to Tony, she touched a hand to his cheek. "I'm going to check with the pyrotechnic team and make sure they don't need anything else for tonight."

After watching his wife walk away, Tony turned back to Kate, who was waving Morgan's little hand in Steve's direction.

"Say 'hi, Stevie'," she cooed as her brother-at-heart stepped over to her, grinning up at him when he dropped a kiss to the baby's head and whispered "Hey, kiddo" into her hair.

"Pepper's right," Tony interjected. "It does suit you."

"Whether that's true or not, it will clearly have to wait," Kate noted. "I'm currently missing a rather essential piece of the formula."

Duly chastened, Tony glanced down at the ground before raising his gaze back to her. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "Shutting up now." He ran a hand over the back of his neck. "Listen, I know me and Manchur..." A glare from Kate halted his words before he cleared his throat and tried again. "...Barnes... aren't exactly buddy-buddy... but if you need anything, kid... you know all you have to do is ask."

"I do know. And I appreciate it," she replied. "But big brother here" -- she poked Steve in the ribs -- "has it handled most days. Sometimes more than I need him to."

"You'd be bored without me," he teased, laughing when she rolled her eyes.

"Still," Tony shrugged. "The offer stands." Turning towards the long driveway as a black Audi sedan pulled up, he glanced down at his watch. "About time. What'd he do, stop for ice cream?"

Kate and Steve followed his gaze, watching as Happy helped May Parker out of the backseat, Peter practically flying out the other side. Racing up the lane towards them, he skidded to a halt next to Kate. "Hi, Mr. Stark," he greeted, waving enthusiastically. "Captain Rogers, Ms. Summers." Leaning forward, he caressed a finger over the baby's cheek. "Hi there, Morgan." When she cooed back at him, his already wide smile grew even more.

"She likes you, Peter Parker," came a feminine voice from across the yard.

"Shuri!" Peter cried, his face lighting up as he ran to embrace the princess, who was walking towards them with her brother at her side. The two intellectual teens had met after the Battle for Earth and quickly become friends, regularly exchanging texts and video chats. "I didn't know you were gonna be here! How are you? I haven't seen you in ages! Oh my god, this is so cool! Aunt May! Look who's here!" He caught his aunt's attention as he pointed exuberantly to his friend. May waved as she seated herself next to Happy at a picnic table. Peter turned back to the group. "And of course it's good to see you too, Your Highness, King T'Challa, sir."

"But you are much more excited to see my sister," T'Challa chuckled, holding a hand up when Peter went to object. "It is quite alright, I take no offense. She is the better of us anyway." He winked at his sister.

Shuri laughed as she turned to Peter. "It is good to see you too, my friend," she agreed. "It has indeed been too long." Her smile faltered as she glanced at Steve and Kate. "However, I do have something to discuss with Captain Rogers and Ms. Summers..."

"Oh, uh, I can just..." He wrung his hands as he turned first one way, then the next, trying to figure out where to go.

Taking pity on him, Kate hefted Morgan away from her chest. "Here, Peter, why don't you take Morgan over to watch the big kids play?" she suggested. "You can leave her with the Bartons if you want to go join them. There's an obstacle course, maybe you can show them a thing or two." She winked at him as she held the baby out towards him.

"Yes, I can do that, thank you, Ms. Summers," he said, grateful to have been given a graceful exit strategy. He lifted Morgan from Kate's grasp, holding her snugly against him. "Come on, Morgan, let's go see what's going on over here," he sing-songed. "Yeah, see the bouncy houses. You're still too little..." His words faded as he moved further away from them, a content Morgan in his arms.

Tony watched him go fondly before swiveling back to the group. "Well, I'm going to see if I can hunt down Bruce. Probably still hiding in the lab. Needs to join the party. Have a little fun." He shrugged before heading back into the compound.

"It's like he **knows** when the topic of Bucky is going to come up," Steve scoffed, fighting the urge to roll his eyes.

"A man's grief can often blind him to the truth," T'Challa observed wisely. "And a prideful man will not admit to his blindness easily."

"Pride is certainly something Tony has in abundance," Steve agreed.

"You have news?" Kate asked Shuri, her expression hopeful but wary.

Shuri tilted her head back and forth. "Yes and no," she replied. "As you know, we have been tracking all known accounts belonging to Sergeant Barnes since he disappeared. We got a hit on a transaction from a few months ago, but the funds were routed so many times across the globe, I was unable to discover their destination. I lost the trail at a ghost account located in the Cayman Islands."

Kate's face fell as the princess spoke. "I knew, to an extent, that he could become invisible," she sighed. "I just don't think I ever realized how unbelievably true it was."

"He will come home, my friend," Shuri encouraged, laying a hand on Kate's arm.

"You won't stop looking?" Kate pleaded, trying her best not to sound as forlorn as she felt.

"Of course not." Squeezing Kate's arm, she added, "If the White Wolf can be found, I will do it."

"You're the best, Shuri," she said gratefully, giving the princess a hug.

"Ms. Summers, Ms. Potts said the cake is ready," Peter called as he bounded up to them, grinning while looking over at Steve. "She even has 101 candles on the cake for you, Captain Rogers."

Steve sighed, shaking his head as he chuckled ruefully. "Alright, may as well get this shindig started."

••••••••••••••••••••••••

September 2019:

Picking up her last french fry, Kate dredged it in ketchup before popping it in her mouth. As she swallowed, she leaned back, eyeing her meal companion. "Thanks for coming to dinner, Sam."

"Anytime," Sam replied, pushing his plate away. Though he didn't see as much of her as Steve did, it was always nice to spend time with Kate. "You know I'm always here for you whenever you need me."

"I know." She reached across the table, patting his hand affectionately.

The waiter returned with their drinks, setting a whiskey in front of Sam and a glass of sangria in front of Kate. As he cleared their plates, Sam picked up his drink, grinning at her choice of alcohol. "I knew you liked sweet drinks, but sangria? Really?"

"Bucky took me to a little hole in the wall Mexican joint, told me to try their sangria," she shrugged. "Been one of my favorites ever since."

"So Anton tells me you've been down at the PT center a lot lately," Sam commented, deftly changing the subject as he leaned back in his chair.

Kate nodded as she sipped her drink. "I go most Saturday mornings," she confirmed. "Some weeknights if I'm not too drained after work." She shrugged under his knowing gaze. "Working with the amputees is important to Bucky. Only seems right that I go in his stead, at least until..."

"Until he gets his head outta his ass and comes home with his tail between his legs?" Sam teased.

"Something like that," she smirked.

"Dude better get it together soon," he ribbed fondly. "Tired a' pickin' up his slack at the VA on my days off. Avenging was supposed to mean a break from all that."

"You love seeing your vets on the regular again, don't even try to play like you don't," she reminded.

"Woman, you know me well," he conceded, saluting his glass in her direction before taking a drink.

"Seriously though, Sammy, I really appreciate you keeping up with the maintenance so they don't find someone to replace Bucky," she said gratefully. "It'll make it easier for him to settle back into a routine if he can go right back to work."

Waving a hand dismissively, Sam shrugged off her thanks. "He's my friend," he said. "He'd do the same for me. 'Sides, gives me somethin' to hold over his head for a good while." He winked at Kate and she rolled her eyes playfully.

"You two are insufferable."

"You love us," he countered. She snorted an affirmative and he laughed, giving her leg a playful nudge beneath the table. "Speaking of love... who's this girl Steve keeps goin' on about? Julia?"

Kate smiled broadly. "Yes, Julia," she affirmed, drawing her left leg up to rest on the seat and draping her arms around it. "She moved into my building this spring, maybe April? Steve ended up helping her carry up boxes. Pretty sure he's been smitten since then, but she made him chase her. They finally started dating two months ago sometime after his birthday."

"Girl knows her worth," Sam observed.

"She does," Kate agreed. "Though if Steve hadn't had me in his corner, she might've had to break down and make the first move. He was so wary at first. Seven years off the ice and most of his attempts at dating have turned out to be with fame chasers."

"And you think she's different?"

"I do," she nodded. "She doesn't look at him all starry-eyed the way I've seen some women do. She doesn't mince her words around him either, just speaks what's on her mind. And she clearly doesn't buy the 'golden boy' image that seems to have grown up around him."

"She sees the man, not the icon."

"Exactly."

"Sounds like she's a good match for Cap," he grinned.

"And what about you?" she probed. "Anyone special in your life lately?"

"I have a date here and there," he shrugged. "Might have more if I slowed down on missions, but right now I think this is where I need to be."

"I just don't want you to be lonely," she said gently.

"You remember I live at the compound, right?" His playful smirk had Kate smiling back at him.

"You know that's not what I mean, Sammy."

"I'm fine, Kate. Promise." His expression softening, he continued, "Right now, being an Avenger... that's pretty fulfilling for me. When it doesn't make me happy anymore, or I find someone and it feels right, I'll retire. If not..." He shrugged again, the corner his lips twitching. "You guys are bound to have kids at some point. They gon' need they Uncle Sammy to show them what cool looks like."

Shaking her head, Kate tried and failed to fight back her amused grin. "I suppose they will," she giggled. "Just make sure they're strapped in before you take them flying, m'kay?"

Sam threw his head back and laughed, before promising to do just that.

••••••••••••••••••••••••

October 2019:

Placing the last of her dinner dishes into the dishwasher, Kate sighed as she closed the machine. It had been more than eight months since Bucky disappeared, and while she still held firm in her belief that he would return, some days the loneliness nearly consumed her. Tonight was apparently going to be one of those nights. And although Steve often spent weekends at her place, lately he was spending more time with Julia. Not that she begrudged him the happiness, but it did mean more time alone with her thoughts, when she had gotten used to his somewhat regular presence.

Padding barefoot across the apartment, she stepped out onto the small balcony attached to the living room. She sucked in a sharp breath when the cold autumn air hit her lungs as she leaned against the railing, the slight breeze causing the skirt of her pink dress to flutter around her legs. She supposed she should have put on a jacket, or at the very least some shoes, but the feel of the cool concrete against her soles was grounding in a way.

She let her mind drift to a memory of Bucky with his arms around her as they stood in this exact spot last fall. He had moved in with her the month before, and she had never been happier. They were attempting to stargaze that night, though with all the city lights they hadn't had much luck. When even his increased body heat couldn't stop her from shivering, he'd carried her inside to their bedroom, making love to her late into the night.

Releasing a heavy sigh, she straightened and turned to go back inside. Just as she stepped over the threshold, she heard her name cried out from below, the call so full of heartache she knew there was no way she was hearing a memory in her mind. Rushing back to the railing, she peered down at the street, searching desperately for the form of the man that held her heart. Unable to make out much in the low light of dusk, she raced inside, through her apartment, and out the front door, nearly tripping over the steps as she flew down the stairs and burst out the entrance of the building. Snapping her head side to side, she finally spotted movement at the edge of the alley across the street. She stepped into the deserted road, hope filling her breast with every tentative footfall. A man clung to the shadows of the building, but she didn't need light to know the silhouette of her heart's mate. Still...

"Bucky...?" Her voice was barely a whisper, imbued with all the longing that had filled her days these many months.

The man's head turned towards her almost instantly, and when his gaze locked with hers, there was no denying his identity. The choked sob that left his lips was heart wrenching.

"Bucky!" She ran to him, her bare feet flying heedlessly across the asphalt. As she slammed into his embrace and he cried out her name, an overwhelming sense of relief filled her. He was home. Dear God, he was home!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What?! Steve has a girl? He does!! I plan to write a companion fic to "Better Than Me" which will tell the story of Steve finding love! It's still very early in the process, but I WILL be posting it eventually. Make sure you subscribe to my profile so you get notified when it goes up!
> 
> I really hope y'all enjoyed seeing a bit more of Kate, and her relationships with Bucky's friends. The next chapter will return to where we left off in chapter 5.
> 
> Comments make me happy!!! :)


End file.
